Isabel

Omg

2010-09-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

Omg i fucking know what happened. Some fucker hacked into my onsugar and privatized my fucking blog. So now the tagboard's gone, the description gone everything gone, followers gone, hahaha

FUCK YOU ONSUGAR :)

M finally moving again. Can't be bothered with this shit site anymore. Fuck you. I shall go search for better sites now. And when i do i'll post my last post here and get the fuck out of onsugar.

tastelikesugar.onsugar.com, bye.

HER WHISPER IS THE LUCIFER

2010-09-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

I love you,
and I will love you until I die,
and if there is life after that,
I’ll love you then.

An attempt at a decent post. Hopefully when i press publish the post will BE PUBLISHED. So anyway, i was suppose to get a sushi treat later however :( how sad. My sad life. At home. *hint hint DEANNA*

Apparently i am to be studying now? Sorry not happening.

The font on macbook is really really nice. BYE COMPAQ NEVER GOING BACK TO YOU AGAIN :) I HAVE BEEN... APPLEFIED! According to celine. Inventor of that supposed supercool word.

Hahahaha i'm gonna get a polaroid soon and then i don't have to waste time uploading and printing stuff. Yay to 21st century, mother of new age technology.

Are you following me?” she asks, but doesn’t meet my gaze.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Why?”
I give her the only honest and true answer I have. “You’re where I want to be.

-LEAVING PARADISE, SIMONE ELKELES

I want to say somewhere: I’ve tried to be forgiving. And yet. There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in.

her whisper is the lucifer

2010-09-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

At the time, my life just seemed too complete,
and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

FUCK YOU ONSUGAR, FUCK YOU.

WHEN ONSUGAR STOPS BEING SO BITCHY I WILL POST A DECENT POST. FOR NOW, URGH FUCK YOU ONSUGAR.

sushi buffet

2010-09-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

At times, I feel like the heart and mind play tricks on each other.
That just when you have got yourself convinced
with one that something is what you want,
the other steps in and makes you feel nothing but doubt.

P-p-p-prelims are over, like finally :) Time is passing by s-s-s-s-so fast :(

I am Dead. Beat. Oh my i realise like to say that hahahaahaha. I HAVE BEATEN MY RECORD. I HAVE OFFICIALLY SPENT MORE THAN 3 HOURS IN ORCHARD FOR 3 STRAIGHT DAYS IN A ROW. I spent 5 hours in the previous 2 days and 3 just now :)

Oh wait. Shall talk about stuff in chronological order.

So first, sushi buffet :) Was awfully full after the whole thing but hahaha it's sushi so i was happy :D we spent about 2 hours there with the STUPID FUCKING MANAGER (who doesn't deserve to be one in my honest opinion) and then we ate peas and disgusting ginger stuff soaked in soy sauce. It was nice :) :) Bonding time :) :)

Now i can add one more word to the list of words that remind people of me. At the top would be pink (obviously you can go jump off smth if you didn't know that) and the second one is now fuck :) Is that something to be proud of? idk. It just goes to show that when all you people are married and having sex in about 10 years time? You'll be thinking about me :D (gross)

Then i went shopping (not suprising) with sylvia (suprising) and we succeeded in getting everything i listed before we started shopping! It was quite fun actually! Hehehehe.

Lucifer is now playing on repeat :) Loverholic? Lovertronic? Isn't loverholic derived from alcoholic and lovertronic from electronic.... So they're drunk and they love gadgets?! Dont get it. Still nice though :) Hehehehe minho's rap is nice :) Key's hair is the best and i should shut up now before anyone clicks the x at the top right hand corner.

Wait i shall save the rest of my kpop rant for the last part of the post so anti-kpop people can just skip it easily.

Apparently after all the prep talks my school has given me, i'm suppose to feel xtremely motivated and ready to HINK EEL AND CT (think feel and act) HOWEVER, don't see that happening sorry. :( This is depressing, i'm going to fail o's (look i'm sewing seeds or wtv)

I'm sure i'll be motivated soon enough. Hopefully. Tomorrow........................ shopping! Again :D Then party @ joy's! Hehehe can't wait :)

Life is good for now.

KPOP RANT STARTS HERE.

WHY CAN'T DBSK JUST GET BACK TGTH. WHY MUST CHANGMIN AND YUNHO BE ON THE PLANE ALONE :( WHY MUST BOA SIT IN BETWEEN THEM AND TAKE A PHOTO. SHE CAN'T EVER REPLACE THE LACK OF MEMBERS. WHY CAN'T DONGHAE AND EUNHYUK SHOW MORE FANSERVICE. WHY MUST SNSD BE THERE. At least key and jonghyun wore couple shirts (yay!) and i saw everyone using the 300$+ earpieces. Yes, i know you artists are very rich. (which is absurd if sm is really taking your money, so claimed my ex husband who refuses to make up with his other 2 band members or rather, lover and son) I am going crazy :(

SS3 :D

50 more days (or something)

2010-08-29T23:17:00.000+08:00

HI ONSUGAR IS BEING A BUGGER AGAIN :) :) :) I SHOULD LIST OUT ALL THE VULGAR/ REALLY DISGUSTING WORDS THAT START WITH B LIKE FOR INSTANCE, BUTT AND BOOBS AND WELL THE OTHER WORD FOR BOOBS.

HOWEVER, HOW EVER, HOWEVER, THERE ARE NICE WORDS THAT START WITH B TOO! LIKE FOR INSTANCE, BEL! AND BEAUTIFUL (BEAUTIFUL BEL) AND BOOKS AND BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS.

I need a decent book to read :(

Okay moving on, my weekend has been absolutely wundafuel! Hehe no wait, Friday was just as nice. Despite having to take 3 papers on Fri + handbell photoshoot (which was pretty funny in the end), i went out! Like finally like yay! Hahaha and bought myself 2 rings, totally contradicting my dislike for rings. But they cost me a bomb :( I don't regret buying them though :) (i never do)

Anyway, and then at about 10 we made our way from ion (it has this SMELL which i can smell once i step out of the train) to gardens and had supper there :) In this new dessert place where they were showing DREAM CONCERT (who cares i have the cd)

OHHHH AND WE TOOK MANY FUNNY VIDS USING SARAH'S CAMERA :D (okay maybe just me) i might post them up hehehehe.

Saturday was........................................... busy? Nothing much though :( Sunday (today) was busy busy busy as well.

Okay my weekends might not have been that great since i only liked Friday and it's not a weekend. Prelims are almost over! With the exception of physics p2. I have increased my love for physics and amath (not kidding) because unlike everything else, they actually MAKE SENSE. Who cares about the elements and how plants respire and WHO CARES ABOUT COUNTING WATER BILLS AND ALL THAT SHIT AND WHO CARES ABOUT VENICE (k it's quite nice but still).

English and lit were always my fav subs anyway.

GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH I SOUND LIKE A GEEEEEEEEEEK LIKE A NERDDDDDD :( This is so sad.

Hahaha i shall end my mindless ugly post with no picture and no quote because onsugar chose to shit me.

Oh and i'm having second thoughts about forever. Not literally but the other meaning (selective sharing- only few wld understand) Maybe after o's?

Forever.

Richard Rodgers

2010-08-26T21:57:00.000+08:00

It is necessary,
in this world,
to be made of
harder stuff than one’s environment.

An attempt at a decent post! Hehehe. (Onsugar isn't being a bitch anymore).

So.. the past few days have been hectic like hell. This week has been really terrible (my fingers are now itching to type 'T.T' but it's classified as a lian-ish emicon or smth like that) but anyway, i died. Like, i literally died (brain dead) and then i had to force it to start again then it died the next day then i forced it to start again and you know..... the repetitive cycle.

Oh, something new and interesting to brighten up my xtremely dull life- in 4A1, 2 rows/columns away from me, A BUNG COMMUNITY HAS FORMED! They consist of Captain Bung Deanna and her fellow bung mates- sylvia and ~~bing~~ LEAH. Oh and they have neighbours too- elzbth and bethanie (omg i just realised elizabeth w/o vowels looks really awsm).

Friends have kept me sane- i am tres thankful for that :)

On saturday, i had music! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Mui Gek and i took pics in the lab! The last time i did that was like 2 years back and i still have the photos HAHA but anyway these are funnier and nicer :) Music make us insane.

I really really really wanna learn the celtic hammered dulcimer :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Anyway, i will die tomorrow again since there's tripple papers to sit for.

And i thought i got over.. dbsk.

2010-08-26T17:25:00.000+08:00

Hi, i am very stressed now. I was suppose to devote 2 hours of my afternoon to music so that i can at least attain a decent pass tomorrow, unfortunately, i don't think so (i have no doubts) that a 50 is even possible.

I started by googling 'list of jiangnan sizhu instruments'. 45 minutes later, i was on to my 15th video of dbsk's holiday in saipan. The worst thing is, i'm starting to feel sad that they're not performing tgth anymomre! (The word "split" is taboo and forbidden)

I CANNOT STAND MYSELF. 100% am going to fail tomorrow.

I wish a fairy would come save me

2010-08-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

It’s amazing that the heart makes no noise when it cracks.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Oh. Because onsugar is being an ABSOLUTE BITCH, i can't upload new pictures and thus i'm using my VERY FIRST picture uploaded when i just joined onsugar. Which is a year and 5 days ago :) Hehe. So my weekends have been shitty. I've been watching yog like crazy (esp the gymnastics) and i'm falling in love with ireland folksongs :)

Fb is like a memory portal. I was on the verge of swearing never to go back to fb again.

I will now drown myself in celtic woman. I like them, no. I love them. Bye.

Tired

2010-08-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart;
and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full,
and you can give things out of that—warm things, kind things, sweet things—help and comfort and laughter
—and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.

-A Little Princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett

I am feeling the need to do a little bit of soul searching. I am so sick of this. For some reason i think many of my posts have been titled 'tired'. Life tires me. The need to constantly keep my life in balance, the drastic mood changes (Yes i suffer from insanse mood swings and omg they swing a lot), haha i just don't know what else i'm expected to do; i don't know what to do anymore.

Apparently my only purpose right now in life is to study. How mundane, it's like instructing me to stand in fire and watch flames lick my skin and tear them apart- it's like watching my life dissolve in sulphuric acid (dibasic acid, chem has taught me well). I, am a person who literally fucking hates routine. To ask me to sit there and do math for 2 hours straight is like asking me to drown myself, in mud.

Still, at the end of the day, when it all boils down to one thing- i am to do it. I am forced and pushed and kicked to study. It's not like i do it willingly anyway. Most of the time i grit my teeth and mutter MY FAVOURITE WORD which i think you obviously know it starts with F and ends with K it's FIRETRUCK no just kidding.

Yes so maybe i should tell myself that studying, though it doesnt give me a life at this point of time, it will raise my standards of living in the future (i don't think about the future a lot i like to live in the present......... or the past) and I want to live, but i also want to live a certain Quality of Life.

So maybe................................ Korea? After O's? Anyone? :)

There was no sun; there was no light. I was dying. I couldn't remember what the sky looked like.
But i didn't die. I was lost to a sea of cold, and then I was reborn into a world of warmth.

(That's from Shiver)

ONE YEAR

2010-08-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

YAY i posted and then i refreshed the page and realised i've been on onsugar for ONE YEAR (and one day)

BUT OMG ONE YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

(I was on blogger longer but WHO CARES) I'VE BEEN ON ONSUGAR FOR ONE YEAR YAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mizz

2010-08-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

Go on with what your heart tells you,
or you will lose all

To: All the people i've lost- be it this year, last year, or a few years back. I will never be able to completely forget any of you (No matter how hard i try and yes i try very hard sometimes). You can hate me for all i give a shit (which i don't by the way) but i'm just saying. Hahahaha okay those 3 sentences were uncalled for but i'm just going to say it anyway.

Okay all this fuss about prelims and o's are driving me nuts. I keep making to-do-lists for myself but i either lose them or they just keep adding up. It's not even a to-do-list anymore it's like a to-look-at-and-sigh-list. I now have 27 things on my to-look-at-and-sigh-list and half of them involve studying each of my 10 subjects :( I'm still proud to declare that rightttt at the top of my to-do-list is *GO TO KOREA*

Which i am going TO DO .................................. after my o's (this is usually the part where i make some really weird estrangled noise and find smth to jump off)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i am quite happy w life now. Or more specifically i am quite happy with just this week. Come next week you'll see me hanging off a cliff or smth. KPOP IS KEEPING ME SANE (SADLY, YES IT'S TRUE) THOUGH I DON'T SOUND QUITE SANE NOW, BELIEVE ME, I AM.

Oh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy back to school tmr :(

EUNHAE GASP A MILLION TIMES W/O STOPPING

2010-08-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

There is everything you know
and there is everything that happens.
When the two do not line up,
you make a choice.

Hi, it's going to 1 now and i should be sleeping soon. It's quite an accomplishment for me to be awake now actually. Since i've cultivated a habit of sleeping at 10 (yes, seriously). HOWEVER, SUPER SHOW 3 WAS TODAY, IN SEOUL AND APPARENTLY, APPARENTLY, APPARENTLY LIKE OMG LIKE APPARENTLY,

EUNHYUK'S HEAD WAS UNDER DONGHAE'S PANTS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNOW RIGHT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CANNOT BREATHE CANNOT BREATHE AND OMG NICHKHUN AND DONGHAE WERE IN THE SAME ENCLOSED SPACE LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ah now all i need is for dbsk to patch back and hold hands (esp yunjae) and be friends again and then i will be contented when i die.

Hahahaha okay now to better topics for the sake of non-kpop people (who are really missing out on the love of eunhae in my opinion), oral was. Unexpected. Like what makes me laugh? I don't know what makes me laugh! Stupid things makes me laugh idon'tknowwhatmakesmelaugh oh this is so horrible, just thinking about oral again. The picture was pretty tough as well.

BUT ANYWAY WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ORAL WHEN THERE'S EUNHAE TO LIVE WITH AND BE HAPPY WITH LIKE OOOOOOOOOOOMG OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMG YES GO LISTEN TO USHER'S O.M.G OR BETTER STILL, GO LISTEN TO SOME SUJU SONG AND THINK OF EUNHAE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I'm sorry for this post, i truly am. BUT OMG EUNHAE EXISTS IT. IS. REAL. *STAMP OF AUTHENTICITY*

NDP, WE ARE SPORE, WE ARE FUNGI?

2010-08-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

One shouldn't be too hard on oneself
when the object of one's affection
returns the favour with rather less enthusiasm
than one might have hoped

Ndp YAY WE ARE SINGAPORE, SINGAPOREANS. I hate it when people cut Singapore to S'pore, and then to spore, without the apostrophe. Hello, there is a need for the diacritic mark, if not we'll be going 'we are spore spore spore' and then they'd be like, 'spore? ..Fungi?', get the drift..? Yes i hope you do, and please learn from it o's (oral) is coming :(

Anyway, i know nobody is going to read this now since everyone's busy mugging for prelims, i am proud (as well as distressed, perplexed, worried, irked) to say that hey, i haven't started for prelims except one theme of SS! Aaaaand obviously i picked the easier theme- VENICE.

I have a pressing pressing pressing question on my mind that keeeeeps pressing me when i attempt to recite how Venice rose, peaked, and fell. LIKE WHY SHOULD I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW VENICE GOT TOO COMPLACENT WITH THEIR AFFLUENT LIFESTYLE AND DECIDED NOT TO GIVE THEIR RAT'S ASS SHIT ABOUT THEIR TRADE ROUTES AND ALL THAT SHIT. I mean- Doge Pierto II Orseolo?? Doge ENRICO DANDALOLO~ They vaguely sound like lyrics to waka waka. My ass, not giving a shit bout this.

I would love to visit Venice though, before it drowns.

So, it's Monday. And prelims are.. less than a day away. I don't know what to make of Time anymore. Don't want it to get closer, but on the other hand i can't wait for it to be over and gone. Gone and over. Don't want to get any closer to Prelims; i'm in an uncomfortable enough proximity as it is. So help me God (OH LOOKEY HERE I JUST QUOTED BOB, EWELL!)

Yay now i shall attempt to self-evoke feelings for Tom Robinson and Boo Radley for they are poorly oppressed people of Maycomb Society, everbody go *awwwwh*

Haaaappy National Day Singapore! I am truly proud to be a Singaporean :) I'm proud to be a S'porean as well. Yes, even a Sporean, from Spore ooh look mushrooms :O :O :O

(I came plummeting down)

2010-08-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

I am constantly feeling like i need everyone else, so much more, than they need me.

Then they'd ever need me.

(I came plummeting down)
(Because there was no one)
(To catch)
(Me)

The Lost Symbol

2010-08-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

And yet,
to say the truth,
reason and love keep little company together nowadays.

Yes that picture is an unfortunately very fail feeble attempt to cheer myself up. Though it cracks me up like shit. HAHA IF YOU DON'T GET IT IT'S OKAY YOU CAN COME ASK ME I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU WHY IT'S SO FUNNY.

Jaejoong <3 My first bias and will be forever remembered :) As the guy who got me hooked onto kpop, ASSHOLE! I feel like i'm eternally stuck in kpop quicksand okay. CAN'T GET OUT CAN'T GET OUT SINKING SINKING SINKING :( Thanks to kpop i'm even a fan of (can you believe it) gays aka eunhae but anyway,

this shall not get out of hand it shall not be a kpop post.

I am. So sick. Of waking up not looking forward to the day ahead. Of looking at every numerical indication of days prelims are due. Of having to create to-do-lists and schedules. Of always feeling like i have a MILLION OTHER BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO STUDY. Of wondering why the fuck i need to know elements in the periodic table. Of figuring out how binomial Theorem is going to help me in future.

At least, I've aquired Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol which makes me happy :)

Saudade (pt2)

2010-08-02T02:44:00.000+08:00

Our story is over, though in its end lies its beginning.

With the succesful upload of that previous post, i need to say that ONSUGAR HAS BEEN A BITCH TO ME OVER THE WEEKENDS :( I made 2 full posts and everytime i click 'publish' it just brings me back to the home page. Once i even found myself logged into someone else's onsugar, bullshit omg.

Anyway, Saudade everyone, that is the word of the........................ well that is the word of the weekend! Has your weekend been like shit and filled with cougar town and meatball marinara sandwhiches from subway? Mine has!

Because i slept at 10, i am now up at 2. Oh, oh oh oh i need to say this, WHY DOES EVERYTHING ON MY TO-DO-LIST START WITH "FINISH ...." (?!) Do i unconsciously leave everything half done? I swear all 11 things on my TDL starts with finish. The worse part is, i haven't finished a single one of it even though i made the list on friday (it's monday morning now, the early early morning morning, yeah)

Yes you should click on the > button because if it wasn't nice i wouldn't be uploading it, sí? The lyrics are self-explanatory, beautiful per se.

Monday Blues. Monday Mundane Morbid Moody Mother. All the horrible M words. I can't stand Mondays i really can't i absolutely will not survive. (I will but i feel better saying i won't)

I need sleep.

Saudade

2010-08-02T02:26:00.000+08:00

I SWEAR ONSUGAR IS BEING A BIG FAT BITCH

Fire and Ice

2010-07-30T04:24:00.000+08:00

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

I'm not suppose to say the F word. For like. As long as possible. Actually i kinda started like 2 days ago. But i failed on both counts. Therefore since today is a new day i suppose it wouldn't hurt to try again.

Lack of pictures lack of quotes. No, just kidding it's more like laziness.

Oh and i think i am pretty slow because i just started liking Mayday Parade (yes i know it's like an ancient mainstream song, whatever)

Best day, ever

2010-07-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

The amount of happiness that you have
depends on the amount of freedom
you have in your heart.

I freed my heart a little today. Let loose, laughed like there was no tomorrow. There could be a hundred other possible ways today could be re-lived. But i wouldn't re-live it, for the world. Today, was, in a long time coming, the best day ever. School, made me errupt into uncontrollable laughter. After that died down, i was filled with the sudden desire to turn the clock back just a few minutes, or a few hours, so that i could let myself go, again. When my mouth went back to it's normal shape, and life continued, my heart hung. But at least i enjoyed myself so much, it made me happy just thinking about it.

After school was equally awesome. Caught up with someone i extremely missed with all my heart, whom i haven't talked to in ages. When i say ages i mean like, light years. Hehehe i silently promised myself never to let anyone close to me drift away so easily. Lesson learnt, yes.

Hehehe bio spa is tomorrow. My happiness has faded away :(

Trilingual, me

2010-07-26T17:45:00.000+08:00

Before i go find a corner to sulk in my house, here is a model picture of a 21st century student. Trilingual, yes. In time to come we will all be speaking in Tamil. You will be forced to expand your Tamil vocab and not limit it to 2 words like Muneru and Valiba.

Look how happy this student is, being proactive, keeping up with times, reading a tamil paper, not looking at all like one!

Okay the only reason why i posted this was because of my helix piercing :D I mean, LOOK AT IT!

TODAY SUCKED

2010-07-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

Here's 10 reasons why my day SUCKED

My iphone blacked out on me, and it can't turn on now that i'm home and charging the freaking thing while frantically trying to press the stupid button on top BUT IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING I HATE MY STUPID IPHONE PLEASE DIE.
NO PLEASE DON'T DIE PEASE COME BACK ALIVE SO I CAN USE YOU TOMORROW.
I'm not going for singfest anymore.
I totally forgot that there's physics test.
I totally forgot that there's physics test, tomorrow.
I (obviously) didn't study for physics test.
I am experiencing the LOW part of my HIGH day.
I have un-erasable nipples (eyeballs) on the palm of my hands drew by dear sylvia chia.
I told Deanna the answer to the number pattern shit because i was going to die. Now she hates me. Also, i threw 2 MnNs at her.
I don't know how to spell MnMs. or MnNs. omg. What have i been pronouncing my whole life?

Yes therefore, today sucked. It will get better, slightly better, if i win lottery tonight. Or by today. But no not going to happen.

>:(

L4D@LAN

2010-07-25T13:34:00.000+08:00

Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.
Too often we’re too stubborn to say, ”Sorry, I was wrong.”
Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts,
and we let the most foolish things tear us apart.

Well, prelims can just go KISS MY ASS. I am so lazy, i don't even know how to describe it anymore, i'm at a loss for words. This morning saw me eating mee pok (i thought it was mi pork but deanna told me otherwise) instead of going to church, and then i made my way to a lan shop to play L4D (indeed i quite suck at it) cuz paul has to constantly save me every few minutes hehe.

Other than that, life is moving along just fine. (Because i'm not studying)(yet)

AND I'M GOING TO SINGFEST 2010 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SCREAM FOR ME HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I didn't even plan to go, taking into consideration that everyone around me is not as lazy and are probably studying their asses of as i'm typing this sentence. However, Celine Tan smth smth, is the only exception! Yay i'm gonna see WONDERGIRLS AND KATY PERRY (SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM) HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Yes and my prelims are going to ssssssssssssssssuck. Like ssssssssssssssssshit. I am ssssssssstresssssing on the S-es.

Okay my brain has gone a bit looney after seeing zombies attack me bye

Brick by boring brick

2010-07-23T17:58:00.000+08:00

Being on the tightrope is living;
everything else is waiting

Ha, Hahahahahaahahahahah. Hi. My happy bubble didn't surface today. Deanna says i think too much. That is true i suppose. I suppose that is true. Wow my engrish is horrigible. < I think physics spa is the cause of this inconsequential. blogpost.

Well now, physics spa. CAN'T YOU JUST PATCH UP THE FUCKING CRACK IN THE WALL WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO MEASURE IT? TOO MUCH TIME IS IT?

>:(

Someone give me some other motivation rather than "o's are in 90++++ days!!!" because that doesn't seem to be working anymore. Nothing seems to be working my ass is too lazyyy. The world should stop spinning around me; let me catch my breath, regain my clarity, and we can go go go again. All set, plan in hand, i'll be on my toes and you'll.. be dead (hopefully)

Ad astra, ad absurdum.

Misguided ghosts

2010-07-20T18:14:00.000+08:00

Well Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify,
Of broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

Pain is just a simple compromise, so we can get what we want. Broken hearts and twisted minds.

Aha, don't judge me. I am like that because that is me, that is the way i live the way i survive the way i find is most effective in getting things done. Suddenly, on my way home, i felt a sudden pang of lonliness. I miss old friends, i miss old times.

My post is incoherent again today. Listening compre was today, i told my chinese teacher it was tomorrow, oh blimey.

3 pure sciences tmr, science overload. Will terminate and die.

I realised i haven't been using the 3-word phrases for very long, things like -i miss you, i love you, please come back.. etc. I have been, however, using things like- i hate you, fuck my life, what the fuck, fucking fucker fucked, etc.

If you read that, i'm sorry. I'm going to bathe now. Why am i announcing this on my blog HAHA. Okay bye everyone should eat macs macs is the Mother of fats, of all things good and true and fat.

Do you understand me? I cannot comprehend my thoughts.

Dead beat.

Shiver

2010-07-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

I pressed my lips together as though
I was keeping his kiss inside me,
holding this moment that was
as fragile as a bird in my hands

I did something very stupid today. I walked into the bookstore and as usual i spent no less than an hour there. Finally with 2 books in my hand- both James Patterson's (yes i am a huge fan of his alex cross series and the womem's murder club), i headed to the cashier.

On my way there (it was just a few steps) this stupid book caught my eye. Okay it's not stupid but there wasn't a summary of the book at the back cover, and the front cover was painted a picturesque of heart-shaped blue leaves and blue branches. There was just one word, no caps, "shiver". For some bloody reason i felt very very extremely drawn to that book. So i walked around abit more with 3 books in my hand.

Finally i got so tired i dumped the James Patterson ones (ah) and bought shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. I didn't even know a single bloody detail about the book. For all i know it could've just been about people shivering, or like stupid short ghost stories.

Hahahahaha i was proven wrong (gladly). The book is so awesome, i can't even bring myself to describe how awesome it is. Almost as awesome as The Pellinor series. Almost. However the only stupid thing about the book is that it's the first of a trilogy which SUCKS because now i have to go haunt for the second book somewhere in kinokuniya (God knows how long that'll take) and i have to wait for the third one.

Here's to my long lost love/ obsessive habit of reading. I'm so ready to plunge back into that other realm i can't wait to end this post.

And oh- if you've managed to read the above w/o falling asleep, congrats. You have officially and successfully managed to register the label 'bookworm' or 'nerd' next to my name in your brain.

Another Realm

2010-07-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

Lets play truth or dare
Or just dare because
Nobody tells the truth anymore

T stands for Tired. I am tired. T also stands for Today and Terrible, therefore Today is Terrible, T stands for Tell-Tale, ironically it stands for Truth as well. T stands for Time, which i so very badly want to turn back.

I came back dumped my bag on the bed trudged down the stairs plopped myself on ~~my sofa~~ the bench reached for the remote and watched Grey's Anatomy. I wouldn't call it watching. I was just staring at the screen, mind wondering down memory lane. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything now, my mind likes to bring me back to places i don't wish to vist, makes me listen to the voices in my head that i plugged long time ago; then i carry on remembering how it felt.

That, is the worst part. Not the sight not the sound but the feelings. The small emotion bubble waiting to be burst. 1, 2 3, I'm back to reality. Doesn't hurt that much now that i've been constantly going back and fourth. I ran in my dreams, tripped over reality and hit my head on the truth.

No matter how hard we try to ignore it, deny it, eventually the lies fall away. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.

Honestly, i'm fucking afraid. Honestly, i'm fucking tired and i don't wish to carry on with this. Controlled by the heart and not the mind, lets see what i'll do. My reations take place usually immediately, impulsively, given no second thoughts. I might just crumble, fall, crash, exactly what my heart is doing at this point of time.

I knew it wasn't frickin cuz that sounded wrong. It's fucking! Yay :)

Impossible

2010-07-14T23:33:00.000+08:00

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear I know,
I know

I enjoyed myself today. School was tiring. At least i got to go shopping. Hehehehe. We should all eat our own Tofus so we won't be taken advantage of. Speaking of which, go try Mos burger's 85cents bread. It's delicious for some reason.

It's 1125 now. I wonder what i'm doing up when i have chem spa skill 3 tmr. I was never fond of sleeping early anyway. I've been doing so the past few nights actually. Didn't make much of a difference. Hahahaha actually, the reason why i haven't been updating my blog is cuz i've been writing fanfics.

I actually thought my eunhae fanfics were horrible but there were so many nice comments i just felt obliged to keep writing HEHEHEHEHE. It's fun though! Hahaha i like writing fanfics :) They are fun.

Now, i should try to get some sleep. Oh btw i have this new found liking for Toy Stores now! The BETTER toy store. HAHAHAHAHA :)

Attention

2010-07-12T16:57:00.000+08:00

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
we got it on lock

Are you expecting this? Well wait no longer, you're going to get it.

Firstly, i was debating whether i should spend the whole entire post cursing. Then i realised that hey, that wouldn't do! I'd be wasting time, energy and well i'd be wasting everything there is to waste on someone not worth it.

So i decided i shall just say a few words and let nature takes it's course. Or perhaps i'll suggest another course to nature as i usually do so as to you know, get things done. (It's time someone did something that involves direct face-to-face bitch slapping, yes?)

Let's see, where do i begin. Firstly, let's get things clear. Like, crystal clear. You, brought it upon yourself. Don't you dare come pointing fingers and making up stories about who did this and who did that. I'm not as dumb and i'm certainly not very forgiving, and yes i realised i hold grudges. You can keep living as a senseless two-face or some backstabbing bitch but hey, what do i care! I used to think i hate you but now i don't even want to think about you.

Most people crave attention and some fight for it. No dumbshit stands there and expect to be given attention.

Okay! A paragraph and a line! Well my anger is worth that much i suppose. Today we learnt tea appreciation! DAMN FUN. HEHEHE. The best part was eating the nuts hahaha. Healthcheck was so bloody fast la! The glee song is still stuck in my head :)

Alone

2010-07-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

        From childhood's hour I have not been        As others were; I have not seen        As others saw; I could not bring        My passions from a common spring.        From the same source I have not taken        My sorrow; I could not awaken        My heart to joy at the same tone;        And all I loved, I loved alone.        Then- in my childhood, in the dawn        Of a most stormy life- was drawn        From every depth of good and ill        The mystery which binds me still:        From the torrent, or the fountain,        From the red cliff of the mountain,        From the sun that round me rolled        In its autumn tint of gold,        From the lightning in the sky        As it passed me flying by,        From the thunder and the storm,        And the cloud that took the form        (When the rest of Heaven was blue)        Of a demon in my view.

I'm quite reluctant to do a normal post because i feel very 'bleh' and i just got my you-know-what today. I'm not complaining though, it delayed itself for 2 months so i'm quite glad about that.

I nursed a headache today on the way back from church. Something hurt more than that. That something had always hurt, i didn't give much thought to it. I shan't anyway. Not worth my time, my energy.

Jerrey is awsm

2010-07-09T19:34:00.000+08:00

Like lipstick traces on pillowcases
Some things in life are unforgettable
Like love, loss, lies and us
Some things in life are undeniable

Hi my friend in the shadows Jerrey, never had a friendster nor facebook and almost didn't have msn until i came in, name sounds like a female, acts like a female but is actually a male. Listens and never refutes, loves me and doesn't expect anything back :) Here's to our mutal friendship, and you and Dez should b tgth forever (though i must warn you that doesn't last long) and thank you for introducing me to L4D even though we met under really........... fked up circumstances. Happy 18th, improve your english, add in proper punctuation and i might actually reply you sometimes. I Love you, dez don't kill me.

School was.......... hmm. My morning was ruined by some fucker, i'm not sorry that the fucker ruined it but i'm sorry i let my morning be ruined by that fucker. The rest of the day was fine, there was no chinese (fuck yeah!) Hehe and lunch was just connect 4 all the way which was damn funny because sha is like, the BEST at connect 4 like whoo! Hehehe.

Kay, one pic from sarah's birthday before i go, and i am only posting this because i am convinced that my eyes look puny-ier than this in the other photos. She, always, looks great so there's no problem in that hehe.

OH and, KINGS OF CONVENIENCE FTWWWWWW. <3 In the middle of watching 'museeeek bang!' (that's how the mcs pronounce it) i chanced upon kings of convenience while channel surfing, and fell in love with them instantly.

Hehehe this post is rather interesting don't you think! Jerrey, don't kill me if i fall asleep at 10 and don't make it!! :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH INSERT LOVE

2010-07-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

I fear I've done some things too late and others too early

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sarah NG I HOPE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU DEEP DOWN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I REALLY DO. AND IF COULD BAKE THOSE CUPCAKES UP THERE I WOULD BAKE THEM FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY :) Thank you for just being in my life, it's more than enough to have you as a friend. I do hope you liked today's evening :) It was fun :) :)

So today, school was nice. It was (shockingly) slack for the first time. After school i went to j8 w sylvia and we borrowed this personality colour book thing and i am green :) Which totally says that when i'm angry, the four letter word comes rolling out of my mouth and a lot of other stuff were true too :) Ate oyster meesua, bought cake and rushed home.

Now the highlight of the day, the very failed birthday suprise :) Hahaha took many pictures and it was funnnnn. Sad though, when we all had to leave. I hope sarah enjoyed it! It's her sixteenth and that doesn't last long :( Only 24 hours :( We sat at her table munching soccer pizzas and b&js, and for a moment i felt 14 again. I realised that over the past few years i have indeed stored up many memories with these lovely people and now we're 16 and almost graduating, it feels kind of.... sad. No more dreaded handbell pracs, lunching at ikea visiting joyce/winnie at the hospital, etcetc.

Then again, there's still shopping and dinners and sakura (free flow sashimi) and ECP cycling and more camwhoring to be done :) I won't let the friendships slip by me so easily!

I realised i haven't caught up with alvina and eunice for a very long time :) Soon soon! <3

Oh, and i love you, sarah, winnie, joyce, Forever and Always.

Eating in the mrt = bad ethic, bad oral topic

2010-07-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

People change.
And often they become the persons they said they'll never be.

Well, today was a total waste of time. They should've just continued lessons instead of making us go for poly talks when most of us are none the least bit interested in going to a poly. However, my mind keeps reminding me that today was a mix of laughter as well, and friends made the day lovely, made school bearable, i felt contented..

And it was enough.

Sometimes in the middle of my lunch, my fork stops midway and i start to feel really horrible, because each second just ticks away like nobody's business and minutes flow by and by the time you know it, everyone is pushing back their chairs and heading towards the exit. Or when everyone doubles up in laughter because of something so hilarious it tickles you all over, you can't stop laughing.. But when that moment passes.......................

It's just sad.

I don't like that feeling. The feeling that makes me feel like everything has been stolen from me in an instant, the feeling which sinks my heart and shuts me up, the sorta kinda 'low' after the 'high', it's just wrong to become the total opposite of whatever that was a moment ago. The anticipation of the goodbyes at the end of anything and everything nice makes me cringe.

I suppose that's life. It's fucking dramatic and it fucks up sometimes but when it's beautiful, it's amazing. Tres awesome. Friends are absolutely amazing, and i wouldn't give any up for the world.

(I'm going to be very singaporean aunty-ish and add in smth totally unsuitable for this kind of life-epiphany posts but, THAT IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULD LEARN TO TREASURE FRIENDS *HINT HINT* BUT IT'S TOO LATE ANYWAY *MORE HINT*)

害怕

2010-06-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

好害怕哦。。。明天就要考华语口试。。。怎么办呢？我真希望能在睡眠里死掉。。。哎哟。

A dream within a dream

2010-06-29T20:09:00.000+08:00

My life is a series of non-events.
I feel things, but I do not see them.

I am deeply troubled by insignificant things that are not worth being distressed over. I ought to be revising for chinese oral now but my thoughts are unsettled and all over the place. Perhaps i should nap a bit. Yes, i shall do so after this mindless post.

Today was partially lovely partially horrid. Tripple 2-period sciences + Double period Amath + PE is ridiculous. My mind fried after the first 2 periods of physics. Actually, if i slept earlier i can probably live through the day absorbing stuff but i don't sleep early. Thus i shall do so as well, i shall sleep at.... 9? 10? Such unearthly hours.

Sadly my favourite chicken rice stall is shifting :( to 2 stores down... hehe but the place will be air-conditioned thus ^ chicken rice prices (influx). I'll miss my no-breast-meat chicken rice! But there's always 70c cone ice cream next door at macs :)

I always catch myself in a daze, maybe it's the heat, or maybe it's something else.

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

I kept wishing she was you, now i wish everyone was you

PORTUGAL

2010-06-27T18:49:00.000+08:00

We become attached to what's familiar and sometimes
we hold onto things that are safe and predictable
even if they are bad for us.

I've been feeing rather sluggish lately... what a word. I suppose it's because school is reopening in like less than idk how many hours and winnie texted me like the exact countdown hours yesterday afternoon.... if possible, making me even more depressed than i already was and still am.

First time to west coast park today, it was niceeeee and funnnnnn and there was so much food and laughter and the cell is just great :) Hahaha miss sjsm haven't been there for a gazillion years, yes, saw some faces i wish i didn't see (i wish i could never see), saw SCRUTINIZER (GLADYS! <3) who looks exactly like urgh and haha saw people i forgot :)

Tomorrow, marks the start of ~~school~~ hell. I dread it so much i wouldn't even go back if Britney Spears showed up or something. Not even................. okay maybe if dbsk goes to school tmr then duh i'll go too but THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE so...............

Oh oh and i don't know why i'm so astounded by people's personality being percieved and written down on paper but HAHA i got a chance to read through like pages and pages of words about personalities which made me tres excited for no reason.

And my personality really matched it okay! I used to think DISC was cool but this is hell cooler than that and only 2-3% of the world's population has my personality :D :D :D

One last happy thing before i press 'post', switch off the com and go find a corner to hide hoping tomorrow will never come, i downloaded the whole Edgar Allen Poe collection on my touch :) It's an ibook. Hehehehehehe happy happy ah happy.

OH AND GO PORTUGAL (LOOK WHO JUST DISCOVERED HER NEW LOVE FOR FOOTBALL (MORE SPECIFICALLY RONALDO) BUT HEY PORTUGAL ROCKS) HAHAHAHA.

Indian Wedding

2010-06-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

Everyone is so caught up in their own heartache,
they never stop to realize that other people feel things, too.
We're all so convinced that 'nobody knows how I feel',
we don't open our eyes wide enough.
Overlooking the people that could help us,
we go on with our lives,
living in self-created prisons -
prisons within our own minds.

Loooong quote. Today has been a long day. It's gonna end. And Wednesday is going to be over. Then comes Thursday.................... then Friday........................... let's not talk about weekends because they pass like seconds and then MONDAY.

Ohmybel :(

Nvm. Watched Karate Kid w FATSO yesterday. THE WHOLE WORLD GOES TO PS. Hahahaha. But it's fine. Can't wait for Monday night anyway. :)

Secret : I skipped tuition todayyyyyyyyy............. I realised i've been revealing too many secrets so BYE :)

I'm getting an industrial soon. In about 2 weeks time. Yes bel, you are a bit mental.

List #47

2010-06-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

Here's a secret : I went back to lovelettering and i found out that the 2 letters i submitted got published. And they made me laugh and cry. Most of all, they made me remember. You don't have to figure out what the hell is lovelettering and i'll save you the trouble of looking through the 100 over messages from all around the world, submitted anoymously to the website.

I totally forgot about the website but stumbled onto it again, and found what i wrote and submitted like......... a year ago. Here goes.

#forty four

Dear _,
You don't know this but I'm aching. I haven't been able to sleep normally and I toss and turn countless number of times, only to find that my heartache hasn't gone away. It probably will if you die and I move on. But you're still alive and I''m still stuck knowing.

#sixty two

Dear _,
you kind of suck now and i'm glad that you're gone. People say i've had some blonde moments and i guess that's true. But my most blonde moment was when i became interested in you.

If you do, however, manage to find the site, i don't think she's gonna upload anymore submits because.... well she hasn't uploaded for like...... a year and more. And if you do see my letters, then haha i shall just tell you that the single alphabet it's addressed to isn't the first letter of the person's name. It's more of........... an inside joke. Oh well.

To-Do-List #47 (I did this minutes back but i decided to post it because, well, i'm bored)

Forgive and quite impossibly forget
Sleep, and move on
Walk down 14 steps, grab bag and start June Holiday Homework #1
Find phone somewhere in my quilt and REPLY MESSAGES
Clear inbox, erase my 3000 hotmails, delete FB messages and empty memories.
Practice violin
Run to the film store and buy more film *blog about this
Think of a one-minute-of-silence timing and text sha
Text Deanna a life threatening text
Call the Police, Singapore Casket Association and the Pastor, if Deanna doesn't reply

*I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE AN ANCIENT CAMERA. After being a proud owner of a pretty camera for...... 2 weeks? My mom finally tells me i can't open the back hatch and let the film get exposed to... (well i'm a smart pure chem student so i'd say oxygen) air if not the picture will turn out........... not looking like a picture. Just a black piece of glossed paper. Then i thought back about every picture i took with the camera and realised, that after i took a picture, I WOULD OPEN THE HATCH.

!@#$

Back to my very boring afternoon-turning-evening.

Perm!

2010-06-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

Our minds sometimes see
what our hearts wish were true.

Perm! I permed my hair already :) :) :) Haha earlier than expected, no i couldn't wait. Anyway, my hairdresser DID BROWN EYED GIRL'S HAIR WHEN THEY WERE IN SINGAPORE *SCREAMS* and SHE DID 2 OF SUJU'S HAIR BACK IN KOREA *FAINTS* Buuuuut she's going back to Korea in July :( Her boss did Lee Hyori's though. They have a picture! Hehe. Wait. I'm not a crazy fangirl anymore
....................... *closes eyes and does the shang po, xia po*

Okay so tomorrow is the last Monday of June hols which isn't really holidays to begin with (that's what everyone says) but hey, i haven't even finished a single holiday homework and i haven't actually studied. Maple and shopping ruined my life :( My days are all booked :(

Oh and i re-pierced my 3rd hole as well. I might be addicted to piercing...... my ears. Haha and no where else :)

So, here's to the rest of sucky holidays and my permed hair and pierced ears and fucked face and piles of undone (and will never be done) homework and here's to the last remaining sane days of the year. At least until O's.

OMG O LEVEL CHINESE. *fucks up (as usual) and dies >:( *

If i lose you, i don't know

2010-06-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

You and me, a little different
though we tried to stay the same
It never leaves and when it changes
it is still a waiting game

I wait for a lonely breath
I wait to surface from this depth
I wait for the light to come
and take away these images I've kept
In my head

More than ever, I need to feel you

I'm not one who really holds grudges. This is different. No matter how i try to bring myself to overlook it, a new wave of anger and frustration gets bottled up. It's not that i can't bring myself to forgive you, it's more of, i can't not hate you.

I don't know what your stupid problem is, but i hope you stop. Your actions are completely undesirable by not only me, but others as well. Sometimes i think you're eccentric and attention-seeking, but most of the time i just think you're absolutely selfish. That and you are completely useless when it comes to the area of friendship. You don't know how to make friends, and worse, you don't know how to keep them.

(Filthy backstabber)

I will tell it straight to your face one day. When i don't have to see you anymore. Actually i could just tell it to you now, but i think it'll cause a chain reaction, and i might lose friends i actually love. Maybe you tried. Well, try harder.

Day #1 of Helix piercing

2010-06-15T19:24:00.000+08:00

Each time I told my story,
I lost a bit, the smallest drop of pain.

Day #1 of Helix piercing, it feels fine. Other than the fact that i take 40 minutes just to bathe now rather than my usual 20, because my hair keeps getting trap in between the stud. That, and the fact that i can't turn my head to the left when i sleep, which means i can't sleep facing left which is how i always sleep :( But it's all worth it, at least i'm not blind and deaf :D (It's a myth hehe)

Thank you to everyone who texted me to wish me luck (it felt like i was going on a roadtrip to hell) and thank you winnie and sarah who walked many many rounds with me round far east, waiting for me to build up the courage and walk into 77th street :)

It's been 2 actually holiday days for me, i suppose everyone's mugging now but i'm still busy shopping........... hahaha tmr i will finally try to get my ass down to work, tgth with loved ppl :) can't wait. <3

Maple is coming back to haunt me.

OH OH OH, phase 2 of anti-kpop has kinda worked. While browsing through my songs today, i managed to skip every dbsk song i saw or kpop-related ones and i spammed owl city on replay :D I am becoming sane again yay :)

Okay, maple takes very long to dl but i'm still waiting, waiting, waiting for the world to change :)

GSS + SHOPPING X14

2010-06-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

It may have been in bits and pieces,
but I gave you the best of me.

I actually held off blogging in case i couldn't control my anger and would start blogging about the..... well The Fucker, as we all know her. (OhmyGod i revealed it's a her!) Anyway, i've thought about it a lot, and i realised that i don't want to be friends with her anymore. Not wanting to be friends with her anymore doesn't mean i'll call her The Fucker forever and plot plans to ruin her already-fucked-up-life, instead, i will not do anything. Because i don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I won't give a shit whether she's dead or alive, sick or healthy, happy or sad, stupid or even more stupid. I don't care.

Maybe my blog should be private, like deanna. But where's the fun in that :O

Anyway, on a lighter note, i love building failed-sandcastles at night :) It has been a long while since i felt so free and happy, and i certainly enjoyed it :) Saturday was a blast, even though i only joined in for the other half of the day. I hope my pictures develope nicely! :)

Today, i am going shopping (refer to title above) and will be going shopping for the rest of my holidays. The 2 pathetic weeks left will comprise of shop, sleep, shop, sleep, repeat x14.

OHHHHHHH AND I'M PERMING MY HAIR ON THE 26TH MARK THAT DATE :D :D :D I AM HAPPPYYYYYYYYY. HEHEHE CURLY HAIR HERE I COME :D NO MORE STRAIGHTER-THAN-A-RULER HAIR! :D

Liars

2010-06-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

Below the surface we're all just liars.

Liar, liar

2010-06-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

Deceiver, dissembler
Your trousers are alight
From what pole or gallows
Shall they dangle in the night?

What internal serpent
Has lent you his forked tongue?
From what pit of foul deceit
Are all these whoppers sprung?

Deceiver, dissembler
Your trousers are alight
From what pole or gallows
Do they dangle in the night?

The bird and the worm

2010-06-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

If you're the bird whenever we pretend it's summer
Then I'm the worm, I know the part, it's such a bummer

Owl city never fails to cheer me up. And the lyrics make sense. Today was a nice day. Or so i thought. It was nice until a few minutes ago. And anyway my bed came and it's orange. An orange bed in a pink room. This is horrible.

Is the picture obscene? It's as obscene as you.

I suppose it'll be really childish to go 'i hate you', but you're really despicable. Now i know.

MY FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS

2010-06-08T21:53:00.000+08:00

All that we see or seem
is but a dream within a dream

I like the quote ^ hehe it's by Edgar Allan Poe again. Don't you think it's quite true? A dream within a dream. Anyway, today was sorta kinda nice as well. SS was boring like hell and chem was chem, nothing out of the ordinary. Lit seminar was cold and the speaker had an accent but the stories were nice and the poems were lovely.

I just want to mention The Fucker(s) again, (before i end the post on a happy note) by saying that THANK YOU VERY MUCH for causing all this to happen. Wow really, i didn't know you were capable of such things! Now what, i'm left to pick up the pieces you very nicely tore out? I don't think so. I mean, yes i will but bear in mind i'd have a grudge from now on. Not like you'd know about it anyway. Fuck off man.

Anger simmering anger simmering anger simmering.........................

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY IS, LOOK AT MY NEW CAMERA

OMG NICE RIGHT HAHAHAHA SEE THE HEARTS AND THE STARS AND ITS PINK AND ALL YAY I LOVE MY NEW CAMERA <3 <3 <3 But i'd have to go to the camera shop to develop the film once it's up........... BUT IT'S STILL SO PRETTY HAHAHAHAHA :D :D

LIPS LIKE LIQUORISH
TONGUE LIKE CANDY

See i ended off on a happy note! And ps: It will never stop no matter how bad you wish it would. I wish it would too but it's quite impossible with the existance of THE FUCKER.

Edgar Allan Poe

2010-06-07T21:08:00.000+08:00

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up
running from one falling star to another till I drop.
This is the night, what it does to you.
I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

I am xtremely annoyed with myself for failing to post more often. I am posting today though, that makes a difference, yes? Today was nice :) Because it was just Emath all the way, i enjoyed it sorta kinda. Sitting next to Alicialala is very hilarious. My face felt botoxed like crazy and skin was coming off :( :( :( Probability is quite easy to grasp :) Yay.

Oh and i'm getting new furniture! :D My blue table is replaced by 2 white coloured IKEA ones and my bed will be gone and in its place is this pastel pink bed with white threading. My room will then become a pink-white theme. Because i can't find a table in pink :( But white is nice :)

I bought a book on Saturday- It's a compilation of poems and tales by Edgar Allan Poe and it is damn nice. :) Hehehe the first poem is about bells! I feel like a lit freak now :(

As you can see, i'm trying to post about senseless things as much as i can so that i won't errupt and start ranting about this fucker. Thus, i will now type out a paragraph from the poem titled 'The Raven' and after i've typed it, if i still feel angry, then i'm sorry Deanna you went to eat and failed your sage duties :(

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That i scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the
door;-
Darkness was there and nothing more.

HMMMMMMM. AM I STILL ANGRY? I don't know it took me 50 seconds to type that cuz i memorised it. And sipping bland barley doesn't help either. Therefore, ranting i shall go! (Sorry deanna :( )

YOU 2 FACE FUCKER YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW? I HOPE YOU ROTT IN HELL OR FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT. I REALLY WISH YOU'D BE GONE OR SOMETHING. YOU ARE THE WORSE LIAR IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE AND I HAVE NEVER COME ACROSS SUCH A STUPID BACKSTABBER BUGGER LIKE YOU. LIKE HELL YOU'RE SMART. YOU'RE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE YOU'RE LIKE, FUCKING USELESS, AND FUCKING BRAINLESS, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I HAD ANY SENSE TO BE YOUR FRIEND, YOU FUCKED- UP HYPOCRITE. PLEASE DO ME A FAVOUR AND NEXT TIME, STOP BEING SO FUCKING TRANSPARENT I CAN SEE THROUGH YOU AND YOUR SENSELESS LIES.

:) I WILL POST MORE LATER. BUT FOR NOW, BYEBYE.

wgm :(

2010-06-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

Love me when I least deserve it
for it is when I most need it.

Von broke the news to me today :( How cruel, over a text. He didn't even say anything :( This is so depressing i might just join i-got-cheated-by-my-husband-anoynonmous. The press obviously, made the news a really big one when it was suppose to be kept as a family matter, allkpop you are ruining my life :(

Hahahaha i'm re-reading that paragraph and i do indeed sound like a troubled new-divorced lady. How odd.

I am to watch flashforward with my brother now. Since he dilly dally delayed the show for like 30 mins, i shall do the same, by blogging! I want to create a twitter. Maybe, when iPhone 4g comes out and i finally get data plan.

On the way back home with deanna today, i asked her whether she'd trade her life for anyone else's (in singapore obviously not like obama or maybe sooyoung of snsd or better still my ex-husband nichkhun) and she said no. She was quite contented with her life. And i am too :) Even though i've been thinking that i'm not, i came up with a conclusion that yes i am happy with my life and i wouldn't trade it for anyone else's! (except maybe victoria of fx since she's my ex's mistress!!!)

Hahaha if i would trade my life for anything, it'd be to become an angel and to go up to Heaven and watch all you people ~~suffering~~ living on earth :) Haha I'M JUST JOKING I WOULD BE A FAIRY (DUH) I'LL BE A PINK PRINCESS FAIRY WITH A CROWN AND PINK GLITTERY WINGS AND A NICE HEART SHAPED WAND AND WHERE EVER I GO I WOULD LEAVE PINK FAIRY DUST :D

Over

2010-06-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy it is disposition alone.
Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other,
and seven days are more than enough for others.

I survived chinese o's! But i think i'll settle for a B4 :( My essay was like crap. After o's........... i went to eat lunch and then i went shopping and bought many things :)

OH and i realised i haven't taken pictures in like light years. Therefore after 1 or 2 more months (depending on how long my fucking face needs to heal) this blog here will (hopefully) be flooded with pictures :D Hehehehehe.

Hopefully i'll survive intensive revision and prelims and finally, o's. Hopefully.

OMG, DON'T FREAK OUT

2010-05-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, as we all know, or rather, in case no living soul reads my very hiatus-ed blog anymore, TOMORROW, is chinese O's. I don't know why i'm making such a big deal out of it but yes, it is a life and death situation. Do i feel the slightest bit prepared? Not really. Then again, i don't think i'd ever be prepared but omg IT'S TOMORROW.

OMGGGGGGGGGGG. HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. ACTUALLY I CAN. OKAY I SOUNDED LIKE SARAH FOR ABIT.

THE REST OF THIS POST WILL BE DEDICATED TO WINNIE, WHO HAS ACCOMPLISHED SEVERAL GREAT THINGS TODAY! OR AT LEAST.. 2. SHE READ 100 CHINESE COMPOS AND 200 OF MY VERY VERY VERY OLD BLOG POSTS. :)

And, she is dissatisfied that her name has been mentioned only a few times in all my years of blogging history therefore winnie, your name has been mentioned like infinity number of times, following this :

WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE WINNIE

OMG HAHAHAHA GO COUNT IT :)

Yay, love you winnie :) :) :) We must go out more often and go shopping k <3 <3 good luck for chinese O's.

And to.......................... the rest of the world esp people who've been studying w me these couple of days, you know who you are, to the rest of 4a1 normal chinese people and like the rest of.... the world taking normal chinese tomorrow, good luck :)

You will need it!

O's

2010-05-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

But if you wanna leave, you can.
I’ll remember you though,
just like I remember everyone that leaves.
NO I WILL NOT. SCREW YOU.

I'm so caught up in the o's-are-next-monday phase that i can barely process a coherent thought anymore. I'm losing myself in papers of chinese words that vaguely make sense, i'm blinking my eyes trying to make do of the composition title that i am expected to write a full length essay about. I have to write letters, formal, informal to people of all sorts.

I am losing myself, i'm losing sense.

If you want to leave now, go ahead. I honestly can't say i blame you. My fingers are itching to dedicate a sentence so that its sole purpose is to insult you.............. and also to vent my anger.

If your eyes are idk- too minute to be opened wide enough to see how fucked up i am now, then i'm sorry. I don't fucking have the time or energy to give a damn about you and if you are still expecting life to slow down and wait for you, i'm sorry i think you're more fucked up than i possibly am. Please don't tell me anything my brain has no more capacity to listen to the sorrows and burdens of your oh-so-VERY-interesting-life.

I really do detest you now. You irritate me so much i think at this very moment, i hate you more than i hate studying for chinese. So please don't bother me anymore, i'm not going to even try to do something about this rut you're in. Who do you think you are? I can clearly see now that i'm just wasting my time on you. Screw you and all the shit you carry around with you.

Oh- to think i thought you were different. You're just the same. Blimey!

华语

2010-05-23T14:36:00.000+08:00

本人特此致函的目的是要反映本人快要死的情况。为了想在"o"水准考到好成绩，本人现在已经开始拼命读华语。希望你能理解我为什么这几天无法博客。本人知道自己的华语不标准，但如果你读到这里，还能理解我在说的话，那我佩服你了。要持之以恒，坚持下去！不能放弃！我该停笔了，再见！祝学业进步this is obviously a mixture of 私函 and 公函。it makes me feel like I'm an expert at both. And btw I'm like in the middle of a comprehension and I got so sick of doing it I've decided to blog on my iPhone.Actually the whole reason why I'm out studying is so that I wouldn't get distracted by the computer at home. But since there's wireless@sg... This is just screwed. Bye! ㅋㅋㅋ now there's Korean!!! :-)

Chinese

2010-05-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

Darkness, darkness, everywhere
Do you feel alone
The subtle grace of gravity
The heavy weight of stone

I am blogging instead of studying for Chinese O's which i have been constantly procrastinating and putting off. After the very long day, i am slightly incoherent so it would be nice if i was excused.

Anyway, i feel like a person with no life. Is that how sec4s are supposed to feel? I have no idea. I just feel like a complete loser who hasn't been out. And all i think about is studying but i don't seem to get down to it. How infuriating. I wanna watch back up plan! BUT CHINESE O'S ARE LIKE.... LESS THAN A WEEK AND A FEW DAYS AWAY............

Nvm. The point is, (of this post), MUSIC BANK TODAY WAS LIVE. LIKE LIVE LIKE HAHAHAHAHA. And when suju won, eunhyuk hugged donghae first therefore = eunhae :) They should get married. And adopt. Or something. Talking about eunhae gives me endorphins :)

And they both have twitter accounts! *squeals and dies*

I realised i've started 3 sentences above with "And". What has become of my command of english? Haha it has been replaced by Chinese and small amount of tiny traces of Korean :)

This post doesn't make sense. See, incoherent. FUCK YOU, THICK SKINNED PIECE OF SHIT. ROTT IN ETERNAL HELL.

NU ABO

2010-05-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

Your words don't even make sense
Just turn around
It hurts me too much
I don't want to see you anymore

So i survived with my horrible face. Yay. Alongside tears and everything else unpleasant, that is. Myes ended on... Wednesday. And Thursday was the start of ~~living hell~~ chinese intensive. It's so bad sometimes i feel like i'm in china.

Then Robin Hood was............................. (i can distinctively hear myself repeat "I am Robin of the Hood" now in my brain) Okay it's nice partly because of the victorian times context and the other part owed to Queen Isabella who's uncle is the king of spain (yes i got that much from the movie). Plus you can't miss out the epic "Rise and rise again. Lambs become lions" smth like that catch phrase.

It was nice overall :)

I actually took an hour and 45 minutes to come up with the above post. Of course somewhere in the middle i was watching nu abo and bonomana and without u, but other than all this, i have nothing left to say.

Suprise. (You are gross)

To my face

2010-05-12T17:01:00.000+08:00

To my face:

The above picture is especially for you! To thank you for being the best face ever, you are rewarded with 3 old buggers pointing middles at you :) Yes, thank you for giving me a really nice childhood where i could do anything and not be conscious of my face. Or what's on my face rather.

The number of white blood cells in the blood coursing through my face scares me. It's like a never ending supply. Regardless, you've made my parents pay more than $2000 worth of bills. For that, i truly thank you for boosting singapore's economy and letting ~~good-for nothing~~ dermatologists profit from trying to "cure" you.

Which is impossible and i know this because you are my face.

Here's to the many years we have left to spend together. I wish everyone was faceless, skinless i wish you'd just go away. But no. We all just haaaave to have skin. What so good about skin. Seriously. I HATE YOU FACE I HATE YOU.

Post

2010-05-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

Reeeality

2010-05-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

Friends come, friends go

After much consideration- believe me when i say much, I have decided to throw that whole part of my life away. I'm done with it. Done harping, done brooding, done thinking about it. From now onwards, from this very moment, this instant, i do not know you.

I did not know you, have never known you, do not wish you know you.

Maybe we'll meet again someday. Like, years down the road. Believe me i'll extend my hand and shake yours and we'll start afresh. But for now, it's over. ~~I'm sorry.~~ We're through straight down to the very first day we met, the very first time i saw you.

Well. This is painful.

Cross my heart, hope to die, i swear i won't say what happened that night

2010-05-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

How could i, of all people, chastise someone for their past?

And while everyone was revising trig ratios and sets and mensuration and ohmyGod sec1work, I was busy baking cookes. Batch after batch :) Hehe it's destined that i'll fail emath tomorrow and the following papers. Ahhhhhhhhhhh what the shitting hell is an angle bisector like seriously did we learn that in sec1?! Did sec1 even exist?! Oh no.

On another note, my mind keeps wondering off to the restricted zone. The small corner in my mind barricated with you know, yellow strips of paper labelled "crime scene do not cross" or smth like that. Just that in this case it's just plainly labelled "memories isabel never wants to remember". Yeeeeeah. Notice the absolute term 'never', repeat the absolute term and hence comprehend it. GP helps i guess?

Okay, back to tomorrow's paper. It's.......... 10:39 now. It's still early! I shall dig up my emath bible............. and....... read it! Yes awsm plan.

My brother and i have same watches. His is blue and mine is neon pink. That's not supposed to be blog-worthy. The blog-worthy fact about them, that'll make you gasp is that- they are effing 10 bucks. DAMN FREAKING CHEAP RIGHT (!!!) Hahahahaha yay! I'm now at a life stage where i embrace cheapo stuffs. :D

Oh, and there's this article in Life! section today bout junsu and junho's concert in the compass ballroom. (I hate the compass ballroom i literally died there waiting for BLG to miraculously appear). Aaaaaaaand anyway, the reporter kept stressing the fact that junsu recieved more cheers and screams than his brother. I mean like DUH he's junSU. Note, SU and not HO, biiiiig difference.

I'm beginning to worry for emath i shall go save my sorry ass now.

Ps: I'm beginning to cherish people that i can have comfortable silence with. There isn't many. I won't even use all my fingers on one hand to count them.

Just smile :)

2010-05-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

For you, a thousand times over

So Saturday Morning finds me sipping tea in front of the com (what else) pondering over the fact that i haven't moved much of my ass to get down to studying. It's amazing i didn't blog for a week. :O Even i was shocked at myself.

And for the record, i'm still normal. I'm not bipolar. Yet.

Though ss/lit was on Friday, Thursday night was an early night for me. Don't know why my body exerts this pulling force that makes me gravitate towards the bed. Plop and i'm out like a light.

Mye music prac was on Wed. Music practicals make me freak out a little more than usual. But ohmyGod i survived, I'M STILL ALIVE :O hehe.

Ohhhhh i went to stickys ytd! And bought a jar of lychee pillows. I expected myself to grab the strawberry ones but the lychee sweets were too nice :)

Okay, i think everyone's studying now................................ i should be studying too................. and i will study now.....................................

I want to read The Kite Runner and watch The Lovely Bones, ahhhh no time :(

BREATHE NOW BREATHE NOW

2010-04-30T17:11:00.000+08:00

IF YOU DON'T TAKE IN BIG GULPS OF AIR NOW YOU'D PROBABLY REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

JUNSU IS IN SINGAPORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:D :D :D :D :D

I WISH I KNEW EARLIER! THEN I'D HAVE BREATHED A LITTLE MORE OF THE AIR NOW :) AHHHHH I'M BREATHING SINGAPORE AIR JUNSU'S BREATHING SINGAPORE AIR WE ARE ALL BREATHING THE SAME AIR YAY :)

TODAY'S PAPERS SUCK. SO BE IT.

BREATHE!

Nothing on you

2010-04-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

Listen- everything happens for a reason,
everything happens for a reason

Beautiful girls. all over the world, i could be chasing but my time would be wasted, they've got nothing on you baby, nothing on you.

Okay, marathon was today, band concert was on saturday and heartbeat was on friday. Where shall i start first? Or shall i delay the heartbeat and band concert posts and wait for photos to be uploaded on fb so i can upload them here? :)

Today's marathon was....... an epic failure for me hehehe. Whatever la, i finished my 2.4 and that's the only thing of any importance. Then i gained all my fats back by eating at macs. Oh but we laughed a lot hahaha while reminiscing 'Primary School Days' lol!

Sucker, primary school is long overrrr. Reality comes crashing back down and- oh look i'm wayyyyy behind time in studying for Myes. I just started on one random physics chapter on sunday night :( Pressure :( During the not-so-failure 3 hours studying marathon with sylvia. Which turned out to be 2 due to the stupid impossible game and whatever.

Anywayyyyy, there's school tomorrow. Omgomg when will this end?! Anyway, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THEREFORE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CLICK THE PLAY BUTTON BELOW TO SEE NICHKHUN RAPPING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *FAINTS*

I'm gonna be okay, gonna be okay,
I'll be okay, gonna be okay,
Baby without you,
Baby without you.

Napfa

2010-04-16T00:14:00.000+08:00

But things change. People change.
Change was one of the inevitable laws of nature,
exacting its toll on people’s lives.

Napfa was today. Napfa was okay. I managed an A for everything. Cept standing broad jump. (Obviously). Last year of sec school napfa. It feels fine :)

It's last everything. Last this, last that. Tomorrow marks the last handbell performance. It's bittersweet i guess. The only thing i really enjoyed bout practices were playing nice songs and all my loves who made hb pracs bearable! :) December 2009 was still the best. Hehe. I'll remember all the times we rushed back to school frantically tgth. And ikea. Hahahahaha.

I shall save the rest for the Goodbye Handbells post, hehe after CCA stand down i guess.

Today, singapore's epic weather revealed itself once more. It was hot like hell in the morning/afternoon and then there was thunder and a downpour in the evening. Wow. I do love my sunny island in the sun singapore.

Mmmm, what else. The days ahead are busy busy :( Mostly they're filled with non-stop violin pracs and.......... yeah. That's about it. I will eat violin sleep violin shit violin.

Haha, i never imagined sec4 would be so............. hectic. It's only gonna get worse. Okay. I shall finish Dear John now :) It bores me to death but i rented it so i may as well just try to read it. :)

Hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near

2010-04-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

Smile though your heart is aching,
smile even though it's breaking

I'm sorry, i'm really sorry N. You know i'm not worth this, i'm not worth what you're giving me. I honestly don't think i deserve it from someone this special. I'd rather keep you as a friend, rather than something that's awful. Pick anyone else but me, i'll only bring you misery.

To another, hi. I'm just stumbled over some old photos and just like that, it hits me. Ohmygod i miss you. For reasons unbeknownst to me as to why i won't answer your texts like i used to, why i don't pull you in for a hug when i see you, or why i don't want to see you at all anymore, i really do miss you. With all my heart. Then again, i'd wonder, how could you leave me just like that? How could you?!

I'm not a good enough person, not a good enough friend, not a good enough lover, not a good enough student. I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough. Never.

Spot Bel's Stupidity

2010-04-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

N: I'll be the first 17 year old guy to step on the moon!
Bel: I'll be the first 16 year old girl to step on the SUN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
N: bel you dumb shit wouldn't that burn you?
Bel: NO, hello, I'll go at night!

Stacy can't you see?! You're just not the girl for me!

2010-04-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today, i heard the bridge 'ba da ba ba da da ba da, ba da ba ba da ba ba da' Hehe i realised while singing it i mixed up the bas and the das however, i know now :)

I went for violin again today it ruined my fingertips i can't feel my fingertips now. It's hazardous. I have yet to master vibrato and for that i am deeply saddened.

It's !!:$& or in other words or in other numerical symbols, 11:47 and i am still in the middle of my commonwealth essay and i can assure you it doesn't make sense AT ALL. I took away the JL monster but the fairy is still there :) Yes i can see where this is going. Down the drain i suppose.

Somehow tomorrow is Friday! And the day after tomorrow is Thursday! Wow! All of a sudden, Friday comes before Thursday! Oh and today is Monday! Yesterday was Monday too! I love the days of the week! They are so totally not screwed up! Wow! In-cre-du-ble!

Now, back to my fairy and the rest of the rubbish that's gonna sprout out of my....... fingers. I will finish the essay! I can and i will!

MMT

Suspend

2010-04-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

I am crushed. I can see tiny fragments of bel on the floor. Seriously, i wouldn't support their individual activities until they come back as a group. Seriously, i've never felt so crushed in my whole entire life before. Seriously, dbsk can't disband.

They just can't.

Would it kill you to care, as much as i did?

2010-04-03T13:33:00.000+08:00

Spiteful words can hurt feelings,
but silence can break hearts

The second week was busier than the first. Though i'm not complaining cuz it's only gonna get worse. It's a boring Saturday afternoon and i see a storm cloud approaching. No kidding.

Hehe this is suppose to be me! Deanna drew it in the midst of drawing all her other cute stick people for the Cambodian Genocide. Yes, though i have not been listening to pcd, i have indeed gotten the point of listening to it.

I dined at Cedele ytd. The biased waitress was rather pissing off but we piled the plate with different kinds of bread and ate them all :) Sarah and i were possibly dead and the other 2 were immensely hyper. Had to leave early though. And caught Clash of the Titans which was really nice. Cuz it was about greek mythology. Mmhmm.

How very true.

This is for Sarah! I can still remember your "Omg i looooooooove pancakes" expression HAHAHA. <3

I haven't put The Academy Is.. on repeat for a long time.

Do you want to tie me up?
Do you want to tie me down?
Go ahead and do it now.

So far, so good, let it roll, let it ride, ride.
So far, so good, let us fall, let us fight, fight.
It's no fun on the sidelines.

Adoration

2010-03-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

Fingers, don't fail me now. Not now, please, not now. You may tear and bleed and bruise and turn red for all i care. Just don't stop moving. Keep playing, keep dancing on strings. I swear if you don't i'll chop all 10 of you off.

The week has proven to be a very fked up one. For one, i can't control my emotions anymore. Everything is unnerving to me now. I'm constantly on the edge and it tires the hell out of me. To make matters worse, i caught a stupid flu bug + a fluctuating fever.

There's some full dress rehersal thing tomorrow. Which will put me in a bad mood. Because it is less important and the time wasted there can be used for practicing strings. Practice practice practice.

Honestly, i cringe at the very thought of losing you.
Everything seems to be crumbling down now..

Honey and the moon

2010-03-27T12:43:00.000+08:00

But right now,
everything is turning blue and right now,
the sun is trying to kill the moon and right now,
i wish i could follow you...

I feel like a total ass sitting down in front of the com for the whole morning. Repression. Apparently. Anyway i'm munching on hothothot popcorn chicken now :D With strawberry yoghurt and nata de coco :D Purfact lunch.

Ytd was guitar concert, i liked the duets :) I like all. Well, almost. But seriously, 2 hours of listening to guitars is quite enough.

What's for dinner? (Oh no)

KCUF

2010-03-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

You see, but you do not observe.
The distinction is clear.

Kcuf today and everything else along with it. Kcuf you and all your imbellic character, self-absorbed nature.

Wolf in sheep's clothings, she is. You're worse. You despicable person. Inhumane, the monstrosity of your agenda makes me throw up. You are, a wolf in shephard's clothings. Nope, you have no insights about philo whatsoever but i'm sure you have at least 6 sensible neurones in your brain to spell out google.

Go figure.

I can't be bothered anymore. I thought that was right, i thought wrong. I thought this is right, seems it's wrong as well.

Sports day tmr, why must they plan such a retarded senseless theme for this year's sports day when we're graduating already? Will it kill to just let us spend our last year nicely without any nonsensical rubbish like this?

I'm still recovering from the aftermath of me, being foolishly decieved. Thank you, THANKS A LOT.

On the contrary, Watson, you can see everything.
You fail, however, to reason from what you see.
You are too timid in drawing your inferences.

니가 좋은 이유

2010-03-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

geudae ga geudae ga nan geudae ga "saranghae saranghae nul saranghae"
lago malhalddae naleul midgae dweh
geudae ga guedae ga nan geudae ga gamanhi gamanhi nae nooneul bomyuh
ooseul ddae nado ootgae weh niga joeun iyoo

Possibly the best soundtrack of my life. Possibly. If 2pm doesn't come up with a better song. If dbsk doesn't return to Korea. This would be the best. song. ever. Awsm.

Heartbeat

2010-03-21T15:28:00.000+08:00

i have to forget. i have to forget in order to live
i have to erase it. if i don't, i'll die

Last post before i head off to hell tomorrow. And for the rest of the week. :( I have to forget. I have to forget in order to live. I have to erase it. If i don't, i'll die

Why i like you

2010-03-21T00:18:00.000+08:00

I can feel 2 things- first i can feel loserish for being the only constant onsugar updater. OR, i can always feel proud for being the only constant onsugar updater for updating my blog in the middle of preperation towards O's. Whichever way i'm still being stupid for updating.

The holidays have gone by super fast i will. not. harp. on how fast they've gone by because my whole life is alr an example of time moving at the speed of light. That is not awsm. No, not at all.

Anyway the only song i'm putting on constant replay which it's play count has reached a whooping awsm count of 500 on iTunes is why i like you by suju. That is awsm. Everything else isn't.

Omgggggggggg I don't want to go back to school on Monday. It kills it really does. To the point that i think the UN should come in and classify going to school as a genocide for it causes mass displacement. Of neurones in my brain cells. Like seriously.

Tomorrow......... is the last day of hols before everything goes back to normal. With more action. Jammed pack action. Not awsm, not awsm at all.

Pointless

2010-03-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

Hehe i'm using deanna's com to post this now. While she's being a pig trying to beat highscores on the blowfish popper thing. Blah today is very blah blah blah.

I shall go watch skins now byee.

When finally set free

2010-03-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

Feel the pain teaching us how much more we can take
Reminding us how far we've come
Let the pain burn away from our hearts
We have time to start all over again

iPhone picccccccs

2010-03-18T20:43:00.000+08:00

I figured i have a lot of updating to do :) iPhone picture quality kinda suckass but just make do with it.

C-c-c-cousin, CNY

One tenth of my current Jaejoong shrine. (Will become Nichkhun's soon)

Lights :) above my bed. The circular thing at the side is my high hat.

Damn nice chocolate diabetic cake before frosting.

Omg look at the choco chips. Awsm, ttm.

Hehe a worse diabetic cake, with sugar coated frostings and white choco chips and smarties.

In case you are blind, or suffer from some severe myopic disease, the smarties show 'J <3'.
Happy sixteenth Joyce, luv u.

Never-ending 3 storeys high escalator. Sylvia almost died.

Physics was fine. Coffee helped. Lunched with sha and bing and they cannot play charades (HAHA). I am never going back to bugis ever again. It's fucked.

Still, we managed to get Sha's dance pants and sylvia bought 2 tops so today was fine :)

Physics is cancelled tmr. HAPPY :) HAHAHAHAHA.

VON'S GOING TO M'SIA TMR AND SHE'S GONNA WATCH SS2 ON SATURDAY YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW INCREDIBLY JEALOUS I AM AT THIS POINT OF TIME THIS SUCKS.

I WANNA SEE SUNGMIN AND KYUNHYUN AND DONGHAE AND EUNHYUK AND RYEOWOOK :(

Nvm i shall console myself by knowing she's not gonna see nichkhun or jaejoong or dbsk :) Haha super junior. WHATEVER.

OMG SO BLOODY UNFAIR.

Mad

2010-03-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

You think you’re going mad,
so you came to see me
to see what a mad person looks like.

Shame, the holidays could've lasted longer. Now it's just Thursday and Friday that's left and going to school for physics on both days presumably wouldn't make things a fraction of an atom better. Hell i was right. Reality is not for me.

Urgh everything is just fucked i tell you. Fucked.

Alice in Wonderland, underland?

2010-03-17T11:12:00.000+08:00

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be.
And what it wouldn't be, it would.
You see?

We celebrated Joyce's sixteenth yesterday! Marche was damn bloody good I WNA GO THERE AGAIN. Hahahaha and we ended watching Alice in Wonderland 3D at like.. super late and all reached home at 12. But the movie was damn bloody awesome hahahaha and i like Alice's dresses :)

Oh and we baked this diabetic cake, whereby if you eat it you'll proabbly die of immediate diabetes, i am serious hahaha.

Oh! And i went to the library i borrowed this 1000+ page Sherlock Holmes collection and the print is even smaller than my bible LOL.

Pictures, up next post. Cuz SARAH NG has yet to send me pictures HAHA calling her SARAH NG is ridiculously hilarious :D heheehehhe.

NICHKHUN

2010-03-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

Honestly, if this isn't hot, i don't know what is. Hahahahahahahahhaha this may come as shocking news to you, (it was bewildering for me, definitely) but I'D PICK NICHKHUN HORVEJKUL AND ALL 61KG OF HIM AND HIS WHOLE ENTIRE MASS OF CHINESE-THAI MIXED BLOOD, OVER KIM JAEJOONG.

There i said it. Anyway, that deserved an open mouthed :O rather than a small one :o HAHA not the point. Point is, kim jaejoong is still ohsovery hot, but nichkhun is............................................ wayy hotter far too hot for comparison. I am infactuated AHHHHHH.

Omg MY WALLPAPER HAS CHANGED! From jaejoong's big fat face to his big fat face :) :) :) I can almost see every pore on his face since it's so mfking BIG! Okay that sounded gross......... but okay i will faint everytime i start up my computer :)

This post deserves a trip to CC to see if they have nichkhun stuffs :)

Hahahahaha Deanna's in M'sia now :( :( :(

Fairy

2010-03-11T16:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wish she was you.

Dear John soundtrack

2010-03-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

And the things that keep us apart keep me alive and
The things that keep me alive keep me alone

Never mine, never mind.

I don't know if you noticed anything different
It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long
I don't know if you even noticed at all
That I'm long gone baby, I'm long gone

Emma

2010-03-08T19:55:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or did the whole bloody world twist the simple concept of friendship. I just don't get it!

She would notice her; she would improve her; she would detach her from her bad acquaintances, and introduce her into good society; she would form her opinions and her manners. It would be an interesting, and certainly a very kind undertaking; highly becoming her own station in life, her leisure, and powers.
-Emma

Dear John

2010-03-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

It's possible to go on,
no matter how impossible it seems,
and that in time,
the grief . . . lessens.
It may not go away completely,
but after a while it's not so overwhelming

I finally caught a decent movie. Tugged my heartstrings at times, especially John's father. Overall, it's nice. Makes you think about life. And makes you forget whatever you're facing at the moment, and just sink into someone else's misery. That's how i see it. Might be different from how you see anyway.

Today saw dining alfresco at Mos and laughing at winnie's unprecedented choice of a Natsumi fish burger. Not so hilarious but still amusing :)

I think it's too late but, for the record, i'd pick you.

Scrap that

2010-03-05T12:33:00.000+08:00

Scrap the previous post. I was being selfish and asking for too much. I'm still sorry. Even more then before.

E-learning

2010-03-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

I would stay

E learning sucks. It's 1145am i just woke up not too long ago. E learning sucks.

I'm sorry. Really i am. Hasn't it changed? Haven't i told you? If you could only see then. If you could only see that i truly truly truly am sorry. But this one thing i really need you to know, is that things have changed. For the better. Please? Forgive me?

313

2010-03-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

well then the sky opened up and starting pouring rain,
like it knew it was time to start things over again

It was too much at one go. Didn't have enough time to metally prepare myself. They were mixed with disappointment, discourage and worse- anger and despair. So i stacked everything up too quickly to stack it properly and thus everything came tumbling down.

It's times like this that i wish i never cared, so i wouldn't expect any care back in return. But i did care, and as selfish as it sounds, i hoped to recieve that same receprocation of care. I did recieve it, in the form of words. Meaningless words, i now know. In the form of actions, however, it never came, and it's not coming, and i wonder if it'll ever come.

Thinking about people that make me happy is enough to overrule any thoughts of you completely. I am thankful for that alone.

BEG

2010-02-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it seems safer to hold it all in,
where the only person who can judge is yourself.

I owe this space some updates :) Hahaha for the most part, cts are FINALLY over, but there's still the piling of homework and tests and whatnot. Ummm, life is rocky, unpredictable, but definitely more fun when i take chances :)

AND I WENT TO THE BEG FANTMEETING :D :D :D *hops around in delight*

It was so worth the hours of sitting down trying to do amath, watching a bit of wgm, braving the stupid rain that seemed to flood the floor :( Hahaha AND the gross over-sized guy who probably had raging hormones and memorised all the lyrics to the songs.... HAHA. Lesson learned: Go research bout members profile before attending any of the fanmeetings. Oh and try to memorise lyrics of their songs too.

HAHAHAHAHA it was hilarious. BUTT CRACK WE SAW A GROSS BUTT CRACK EEEEEW. It was so hilarious when we tried snapping pictures of it hahahahahahhahhahaah.

OH OH and BEG POSTERS :D :D :D SO, BEG BREATHED DBSK'S AIR AND CAME TO SINGAPORE, BREATHED SINGAPORE AIR, THEREFORE I AM INDIRECTLY BREATHING DBSK'S AIR :D Can'tttttttt wait for Seoul'd out. CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT.

----------------

Now on to a very very very, extremely depressing note, there's school tomorrow.

----------------

I wanted to end it there but i realised it's kinda bad to end the post on a sad note. So, back to a happier note, ummmmm. Be happy! :) There's not many things that are happy nowadays anyway. OKAY I KNOW I SHALL END IT WITH

ABCD ET GOLLEM SHREK GOLLEM IT'S YOU! hehehehe :)

The SHINee World

2010-02-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

I miss you, my thoughts are always with you, from the bottom of my heart
Once again, I want to give my heart to you
If you call me, I’ll go to you
I want to smile by your side

With all my heart, with all my heart. Ah, for some reason i've been constantly craving for non-stop music on replay through my headphones. My fingers itched to dig out my itouch and just listen and fall asleep in class. Besides, i've just got my hands on The SHINee World album and i am loving it :) The next album i'm gonna get is the TOHOSHINKI BEST SELECTION OMG THEY LOOKED SO SEXYYYY IN THE ALBUM COVER

AH I'M SPAZZING. Okay.

Tomorrow............... LAST DAY OF THE WEEK i will get through it! The only thing i'm looking forward to is after school :D Mmm, physics spa today, t'was fine. :) CIP was fine too! Hahaha tiring but nice :) I like old people better than babies :)

Hokay, this is a happy post :) Kinda hahahahahahaha. Yay i'm happy :) Like momentarily :) Till i wake up tomorrow and get out of my bed then i will become UNhappy. For now, i'm happy :)

Woke up and wished that i was dead

2010-02-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

My body aches,
it heaves,
it shakes,
all somersaults,
through so-called art and I still don't know exactly who I am,
I never will,
amen.

I honestly don't know where i'm suppose to go, what i'm suppose to do. Woke up and wished that i was dead. With an aching in my head, i lay motionless in bed. I thought of all the things that scared me, saddened me, and suddenly i wished i could've just died in my sleep. The more i see, the less i of anything i feel. I'm falling apart faster than ever. And that scares me.

A heartbreak isn't as loud as an exploding bomb. Sometimes it's as soft as a falling feather, and the only one that can hear it is me. I've got loves out there i would run to as fast as possible. I think you know what i want to say next but i wouldn't say it, no i wouldn't ask that rhetorical question. I'm not chiding you, i'm chiding myself.

Bio's on wednesday. I'm in a too distressed state to study, let alone function normally.

I swear, i am the biggest overanalyzer that you will ever meet. I think so much about the little things that don't even mean anything. I guess i'm just looking, looking for something that isn't there.

My brain's gone wayward. In a wayward direction it seems. Capricious, unpredictable. I've got a premonition bout something. Can't prevent it from happening but i'm trying, oh, my, God i'm trying. Can you believe it? I can't. After all the mental blockage i put myself through, i'm actually trying. Haha see i scare myself.

Again, bio's on wednesday. I suppose typing those 3 words wouldn't make me move my ass and get down to memorising homostasis excretion and retarded neurones (I take that back i need more neurones) but it makes me feel better. In a way.

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight

2010-02-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

I want to crash,
I want to fall,
I want to be somewhere in the middle.
Something is better than nothing,
I just need a little.

Something unexpected happened today. I am going to make sure it never happens for the rest of my life, forever, at least as long as i'm still a female. Hahahaha hilarious. Okay. Handbell was fine. Just fine. It was tiring but it wasn't baaaaaaad. Not as bad as school at least.

THANK GOD THE FREAKING WEEK IS OVER.

Amath and bio left, i feel like cts have ended actually. Oh dearrrrrr. Somehow today physics was fine. For the first time physics was fine. And wayyyyy better than chemistry. Chemistry was so bad, 'bad' can't even cut it.

Today we watched this vid in chinese where there was like thisrace of 31 children in a line with their legs all tied tgth. Omg i swear they looked like running caterpillars! Japan has many pretty girls :) At least for one team la. And nigeria people who speak Japanese and live in a family of 31 siblings is WAYYYYYYYY cooler than anything.

Hehe i got to drink my yoghurt smoothie after craving for it for the whole. entire. day. I will buy 5 large bottles of it tomorrow. I am in love with the pink strawberry yoghurt smoothie hahahahahahahahaha I SHOULD BE THEIR SPOKESPERSON OR SMTH. MASCOT? I'M A WALKING PINK ADVERTISMENT! :)

Hokay i am not making sense, hmmmmmmmmmm. I WILL GO SEARCH FOR NICE ENGLISH SONGS NOW :) i'm gonna dl justin bieber's album HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He's quite cute la. Not in the hot way but in the baby way. In the Taemin way. Nevermind.

Bye i'm going to do stupid random things now because it feels like cts is over.

Hahahahahahahahahaha i like the way you make me laugh, everything is hilarious :)

Always there

2010-02-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

Memories stained with tears, your voice rings in my ears.
Hidden by color, I'm getting exhausted, I keep seeing your eyes

I bummed out on chem and felt so low after that i didn't study when i came home. The only thing i did was watch Glee season 1 and loop dbsk's always there on repeat. Oh and tried to memorise lyrics for CN blue.

So i definitely screwed up emath for sure, seeing how i didn't touch a single numerical-related document. Alphabetical paragraphs make up my catharsis, not squiggly curves and numbers, eew.

Today was no better. It was fine after school though. I enjoyed myself even though a single static-electricity information somehow didn't manage to enter the neurones in my nerves hence it couldn't be transmitted to my brain. There i just merged physics and bio yay.

I'm probably the only idiot who didn't go home to study for physics. And i have myself to blame. Truthfully, i'd have picked spending time with people i love rather than staring at a bunch of numerical figures, trying to figure out how they contribute to formulars that i have no idea they actually exist. They're pretty much useless too, it's not like i'm going to run to all the switches in my house and calculate how much voltage passes through them, or the current or the resistance or the freaking COULOMBS URGH.

AND OMG WHY MUST I KNOW WHAT'S A THERMISTOR?! I HATE OHMS LAW I HATE MR OHM.

Don't even get me started on static electricity it's just as bad with all the freaking flow of electrons why can't electrons just STAY STILL FOR ONCE. I don't really give a damn whether anything is positively charged or negatively charged i would rather finish reading Emma, thank you very much.

Okay i assume i just ranted. It's probably the fact that i haven't studied physics yet and coming to terms with it. It's 10:25 now. I have a feeling i'm not going to sleep. Or maybe i will subconsciously die with my eyes still staring at the line 'Is plate X positively charged or negatively charged? Give an explation for your answer in (a)'.

Oh my god will someone just kill me already

Thank you, all of you, thank you :)
Especially you. Who taught me how to be happy,
happier, rather.
Thank you.

WITH ALL MY HEART

2010-02-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM I AM LETTING OUT A FAN GIRL SHRILL SCREAM OF ESTACY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THE SINGLE IS OUT OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI AM ON CLOUD 9 NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL CLOUD 9 IS I JUST WNA STAY HERE FOREVER FREEZE THE FREAKING MOMENT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) --Okay. I am more OR LESS calmed down BUT OMG THE SONG IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE LISTENED TO I JUST CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT.IT SHALL BE THE SONG THAT SINGS ME TO SLEEP AND NOT 'THE NAME I ONCE LOVED' I'M SORRY SHINEE I'M SORRY ONEW BUT DBSK COMES FIRST BEFORE ALL ELSE! SHOO!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3:) Yay i am really happy now :) Okay OKAY GOODNIGHT :) :) :) :) WITH ALL MY HEART GOODNIGHT! HAHAHAHHHEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHHEHEHEHEHE

The name i once loved

2010-02-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

I swear it's the only song that puts me to sleep.--My hands are chilledDimly, the cold memories of love gather.I know that I no longerwant to impose my feelings on you.Because I realize that I cannot love youeven though you are so close to me,It's too hard for me to be waitfor someone that cannot be mine.I can't endure any longerbecause it will never happenThe name that I once lovedtravels further away as I call it,I write down that name, holding back tears,I want to hide it within myself.Please understand the dayswhen I had no choice but to love youA love that was never realized, is still loveThe feeling of love,which cannot be realized alone, draw near.The yearning for this love I couldn't even beginonly grows bigger,and in a column of my chilled heart,only your scent remains.The name that I once lovedtravels further away as I call it,I write down that name, holding back tears,I want to hide it within myself.Please understand the dayswhen I had no choice but to love youA love that was never realized, is still loveI turn it back a thousand times,going back to the place I was.Back before a portion of my heartwas snatched away from meThe name that I once loved(That I loved)travels further away as I call it,I write down that name, holding back tears,I want to hide it within myself.Please understand the dayswhen I had no choice but to love youEven a short love, is still love

Cny

2010-02-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

The name that I once loved
travels further away as I call it,
I write down that name, holding back tears,
I want to hide it within myself.

I'm typing this with half-closed eyes, gawd i am sleepy. I realised i haven't updated this space since........... k it feels long ago. Haha.

So............................. CNY 2010, how has it been? :) I couldn't bring my books to study cuz according to my mother, study in chinese is 'du shu' and 'du' also means gamble while 'shu' also means lose. Therefore, study = lose $ gambling.

It is the STUPID-EST reason as to why i can't bring books to study. LIKE SERIOUSLY. IS YOUR $2 BET OF MORE VALUE AND WORTH THAN MY O'S? Jolly well get your priorites straight! OMG i sound like my mother.

Other than that.................................................... OH OH OH, Shinee's the name i loved (by onew <3) Is the only song that can put me to sleep. I swear it is. I love that song so much i'm going to print the lyrics and put it up on my wall next to jaejoong's big giganormous face. And maybe i'll print ttl lyrics too cuz it's really really cool :)

Hahahahaha i should have a wall in my room dedicated to kpop. And another for english stuffs :) I realised how much i missed listening to jack's mannequin. And i love skins omg. I printed out Kaya Scodelario's picture! She's so pretty.

Right anyway. since i wasted the past 3 days not studying, i will study tomorrow. Even if my mother loses bucks. Annoying!

V....................... day

2010-02-13T07:52:00.000+08:00

You want my future, you can't have it.
I'm still trying to erase you from my past.
I need you gone so fast.

I'm pretty sure i've got another post dated 14feb2009 with the title 'vday'. 2010, vday will officially suck ass since it's gonna be merging with cny. Besides, right after the superfkingshort hols there's cts. I don't get it i thought last year's cny was on 15th feb?! Why the hell do the dates keep changing omg it's CNY for goodness sakes JUST PICK A DATE ALREADY AND STICK TO IT.

So then. I feel like i've just dug a grave for myself or smth. Yesterday was.. fine. Haha. We gave out oranges to 'bless the community' and went for lunch after that. I FAIL EPIC-LY at the 'Darling, i love you' game. I just can't picture myself calling anyone who's not my lover 'darling'. It's just too wrong!

Went cny shopping after that! Got home at like 11. Hahahaha it was funfunfun :) And mad tiring. But i enjoyed it :)

Time to memorise lyrics for because i'm stupid! Hahahaha and then ttl and then abracadabra. See the pointless things i do rather than study. I really am stupid. Anyway, since nobody really updates their space anymore, i shall be the only non-conformist (lol) and update this onsugar! :D hahaha.

HAPPY V DAY/ CNY IT'S GONNA SUCK-AZZZZ.

Jo jo

2010-02-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

don’t let go of love - hold on,
because it’ll always be worth your while

I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground I,
I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

URGH

2010-02-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

OKAY THIS WHOLE WEEK + THE FOLLOWING 2 WEEKS WILL BE COMPLETELY UNBEARABLE AND TORTUROUS. I AM ON THE BRINK OF DEATH LOL. TODAY SUCKED SO MUCH I SWEAR I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP. THERE'S BIO SPA TMR.

BIO SPA BIO SPA BIO SPA

WHY AM I STILL ONLINE? WHY AM I BLOGGING OMG THERE'S SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG WITH ME I HAVE GONE INSANE. I NEED TO DO STUPID EMATH NOW, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M DOING EMATH WHEN TOMORROW'S SS AND BIO SPA

BIO SPA BIO SPA BIO SPA

OMG WILL SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW? *not you SF even though i know you'd love to kill me or smth*

URGH. I hate life i just wanna move to aus like Mohan. LIFE SUCKS. I HAVE VIOLIN TOMORROW LIFE REALLY SUCKS.

I am dying

2010-02-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

The times you don’t wanna wake up
‘Cause in your sleep it’s never over when you give up

I've yet to falter. The bare minimum is keeping check of my sanity. It does sting when i think about incidents i wished never occurred. Or actions i will kill to take back. To catch my words in the palms of my hands after i spit them out. It hit me this afternoon that it doesn't work like that.

When I am in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out. I think that’s what we all want.

It doesn't work like that.

The bird and the worm

2010-02-01T20:52:00.000+08:00

So when you feel the pain of loss,
please don’t grab at something to take away the pain.
Just have faith that pain,
like everything else,
is transitional.

It seems as if the more we let go, the more we experience love. Love is beyond everything else - anxiety, desire, hope, resentment. Love is openhearted, demands nothing, and needs nothing. It is more likely to visit when our desires are quiet, when we don’t need or want much, and when we accept that everything we love is not permanent but is with us at this very moment.

I think it was... Izabella? Who was singing the bird and the worm lyrics outside class and i stepped out and heard it and it got stuck in my head ever since :) I miss owl city. I miss english songs. I miss relating to songs, like finally, i am up and going, roving through my itunes once again :)

So.......... The bird and the worm! Go listen. :) Today was like any other day. I can't tell days apart anymore. They're all the same, i'm dying.

DCFC

2010-01-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

I am falling back in love with DCFC.

The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it.
So i'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all i find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

I was searching for some legal document
As the rain beat down on the hood
When i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
And that's how this idea was drilled into my head

Cause it's too important
To stay the way it's been

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night (up all night)
When i'm lying awake at night.

WGM

2010-01-31T15:23:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of being nice to people who don't give a shit about me.

So i wasted the whole entire Sunday morning watching WGM which rocks. I only watched the episodes with kangin and yoonji (WHO'S REALLY PRETTY) And i'm ANTICIPATING the hyun joong one :) And i'll watch the Ga-in one if i have time :)

Haha Camp was pretty much useless. I didn't learn anything and i'm still stuck in this shithole so i guess it was a total. waste. of. time. I am so ready to go. Just go.

This Tuesday brings about my first violin lesson after idk, a million years? I don't even know where i put my violin anymore. And i have a feeling the strings broke. Ah fk.

Isabel

Omg

HER WHISPER IS THE LUCIFER

her whisper is the lucifer

sushi buffet

50 more days (or something)

Richard Rodgers

And i thought i got over.. dbsk.

I wish a fairy would come save me

Tired

ONE YEAR

Mizz

EUNHAE *GASP A MILLION TIMES W/O STOPPING*

NDP, WE ARE SPORE, WE ARE FUNGI?

(I came plummeting down)

The Lost Symbol

Saudade (pt2)

Saudade

Fire and Ice

Best day, ever

Trilingual, me

TODAY SUCKED

L4D@LAN

Brick by boring brick

Misguided ghosts

Shiver

Another Realm

Impossible

Attention

Alone

Jerrey is awsm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH *INSERT LOVE*

Eating in the mrt = bad ethic, bad oral topic

害怕

A dream within a dream

PORTUGAL

Indian Wedding

List #47

Perm!

If i lose you, i don't know

Day #1 of Helix piercing

GSS + SHOPPING X14

Liars

Liar, liar

The bird and the worm

MY FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS

Edgar Allan Poe

wgm :(

Over

OMG, DON'T FREAK OUT

O's

华语

Chinese

NU ABO

To my face

Post

Reeeality

Cross my heart, hope to die, i swear i won't say what happened that night

Just smile :)

BREATHE NOW BREATHE NOW

Nothing on you

Napfa

Hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near

Spot Bel's Stupidity

Stacy can't you see?! You're just not the girl for me!

Suspend

Would it kill you to care, as much as i did?

Adoration

Honey and the moon

KCUF

니가 좋은 이유

Heartbeat

Why i like you

Pointless

When finally set free

iPhone picccccccs

Mad

Alice in Wonderland, underland?

NICHKHUN

Fairy

EUNHAE GASP A MILLION TIMES W/O STOPPING

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH INSERT LOVE