Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

--

I'm not suppose to say the F word. For like. As long as possible. Actually i kinda started like 2 days ago. But i failed on both counts. Therefore since today is a new day i suppose it wouldn't hurt to try again.

Lack of pictures lack of quotes. No, just kidding it's more like laziness.

Oh and i think i am pretty slow because i just started liking Mayday Parade (yes i know it's like an ancient mainstream song, whatever)

Best day, ever

 

The amount of happiness that you have
depends on the amount of freedom
you have in your heart.

 

I freed my heart a little today. Let loose, laughed like there was no tomorrow. There could be a hundred other possible ways today could be re-lived. But i wouldn't re-live it, for the world. Today, was, in a long time coming, the best day ever. School, made me errupt into uncontrollable laughter. After that died down, i was filled with the sudden desire to turn the clock back just a few minutes, or a few hours, so that i could let myself go, again. When my mouth went back to it's normal shape, and life continued, my heart hung. But at least i enjoyed myself so much, it made me happy just thinking about it.

After school was equally awesome. Caught up with someone i extremely missed with all my heart, whom i haven't talked to in ages. When i say ages i mean like, light years. Hehehe i silently promised myself never to let anyone close to me drift away so easily. Lesson learnt, yes.

Hehehe bio spa is tomorrow. My happiness has faded away :(

Trilingual, me

 

Before i go find a corner to sulk in my house, here is a model picture of a 21st century student. Trilingual, yes. In time to come we will all be speaking in Tamil. You will be forced to expand your Tamil vocab and not limit it to 2 words like Muneru and Valiba.

Look how happy this student is, being proactive, keeping up with times, reading a tamil paper, not looking at all like one!

--

Okay the only reason why i posted this was because of my helix piercing :D I mean, LOOK AT IT!

TODAY SUCKED

Here's 10 reasons why my day SUCKED

1. My iphone blacked out on me, and it can't turn on now that i'm home and charging the freaking thing while frantically trying to press the stupid button on top BUT IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING I HATE MY STUPID IPHONE PLEASE DIE.
2. NO PLEASE DON'T DIE PEASE COME BACK ALIVE SO I CAN USE YOU TOMORROW.
3. I'm not going for singfest anymore.
4. I totally forgot that there's physics test.
5. I totally forgot that there's physics test, tomorrow.
6. I (obviously) didn't study for physics test.
7. I am experiencing the LOW part of my HIGH day.
8. I have un-erasable nipples (eyeballs) on the palm of my hands drew by dear sylvia chia.
9. I told Deanna the answer to the number pattern shit because i was going to die. Now she hates me. Also, i threw 2 MnNs at her.
10. I don't know how to spell MnMs. or MnNs. omg. What have i been pronouncing my whole life?

Yes therefore, today sucked. It will get better, slightly better, if i win lottery tonight. Or by today. But no not going to happen.

>:(

L4D@LAN

 

Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone.
Too often we’re too stubborn to say, ”Sorry, I was wrong.”
Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts,
and we let the most foolish things tear us apart.

 

Well, prelims can just go KISS MY ASS. I am so lazy, i don't even know how to describe it anymore, i'm at a loss for words. This morning saw me eating mee pok (i thought it was mi pork but deanna told me otherwise) instead of going to church, and then i made my way to a lan shop to play L4D (indeed i quite suck at it) cuz paul has to constantly save me every few minutes hehe.

Other than that, life is moving along just fine. (Because i'm not studying)(yet)

AND I'M GOING TO SINGFEST 2010 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SCREAM FOR ME HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I didn't even plan to go, taking into consideration that everyone around me is not as lazy and are probably studying their asses of as i'm typing this sentence. However, Celine Tan smth smth, is the only exception! Yay i'm gonna see WONDERGIRLS AND KATY PERRY (SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM) HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Yes and my prelims are going to ssssssssssssssssuck. Like ssssssssssssssssshit. I am ssssssssstresssssing on the S-es.

Okay my brain has gone a bit looney after seeing zombies attack me bye

Brick by boring brick

 

Being on the tightrope is living;
everything else is waiting

 

Ha, Hahahahahaahahahahah. Hi. My happy bubble didn't surface today. Deanna says i think too much. That is true i suppose. I suppose that is true. Wow my engrish is horrigible. < I think physics spa is the cause of this inconsequential. blogpost.

Well now, physics spa. CAN'T YOU JUST PATCH UP THE FUCKING CRACK IN THE WALL WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO MEASURE IT? TOO MUCH TIME IS IT?

>:(

Someone give me some other motivation rather than "o's are in 90++++ days!!!" because that doesn't seem to be working anymore. Nothing seems to be working my ass is too lazyyy. The world should stop spinning around me; let me catch my breath, regain my clarity, and we can go go go again. All set, plan in hand, i'll be on my toes and you'll.. be dead (hopefully) 

Ad astra, ad absurdum.

Misguided ghosts

 

Well Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify,
Of broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

 

Pain is just a simple compromise, so we can get what we want. Broken hearts and twisted minds.

Aha, don't judge me. I am like that because that is me, that is the way i live the way i survive the way i find is most effective in getting things done. Suddenly, on my way home, i felt a sudden pang of lonliness. I miss old friends, i miss old times.

My post is incoherent again today. Listening compre was today, i told my chinese teacher it was tomorrow, oh blimey.

3 pure sciences tmr, science overload. Will terminate and die.

I realised i haven't been using the 3-word phrases for very long, things like -i miss you, i love you, please come back.. etc. I have been, however, using things like- i hate you, fuck my life, what the fuck, fucking fucker fucked, etc.

If you read that, i'm sorry. I'm going to bathe now. Why am i announcing this on my blog HAHA. Okay bye everyone should eat macs macs is the Mother of fats, of all things good and true and fat.

Do you understand me? I cannot comprehend my thoughts.

Dead beat.

Shiver

 

I pressed my lips together as though
I was keeping his kiss inside me,
holding this moment that was
as fragile as a bird in my hands

 

I did something very stupid today. I walked into the bookstore and as usual i spent no less than an hour there. Finally with 2 books in my hand- both James Patterson's (yes i am a huge fan of his alex cross series and the womem's murder club), i headed to the cashier. 

On my way there (it was just a few steps) this stupid book caught my eye. Okay it's not stupid but there wasn't a summary of the book at the back cover, and the front cover was painted a picturesque of heart-shaped blue leaves and blue branches. There was just one word, no caps, "shiver". For some bloody reason i felt very very extremely drawn to that book. So i walked around abit more with 3 books in my hand.

Finally i got so tired i dumped the James Patterson ones (ah) and bought shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. I didn't even know a single bloody detail about the book. For all i know it could've just been about people shivering, or like stupid short ghost stories.

Hahahahaha i was proven wrong (gladly). The book is so awesome, i can't even bring myself to describe how awesome it is. Almost as awesome as The Pellinor series. Almost. However the only stupid thing about the book is that it's the first of a trilogy which SUCKS because now i have to go haunt for the second book somewhere in kinokuniya (God knows how long that'll take) and i have to wait for the third one.

Here's to my long lost love/ obsessive habit of reading. I'm so ready to plunge back into that other realm i can't wait to end this post.

And oh- if you've managed to read the above w/o falling asleep, congrats. You have officially and successfully managed to register the label 'bookworm' or 'nerd' next to my name in your brain.

Another Realm

 

Lets play truth or dare
Or just dare because
Nobody tells the truth anymore

 

T stands for Tired. I am tired. T also stands for Today and Terrible, therefore Today is Terrible, T stands for Tell-Tale, ironically it stands for Truth as well. T stands for Time, which i so very badly want to turn back.

I came back dumped my bag on the bed trudged down the stairs plopped myself on my sofa the bench reached for the remote and watched Grey's Anatomy. I wouldn't call it watching. I was just staring at the screen, mind wondering down memory lane. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything now, my mind likes to bring me back to places i don't wish to vist, makes me listen to the voices in my head that i plugged long time ago; then i carry on remembering how it felt.

That, is the worst part. Not the sight not the sound but the feelings. The small emotion bubble waiting to be burst. 1, 2 3, I'm back to reality. Doesn't hurt that much now that i've been constantly going back and fourth. I ran in my dreams, tripped over reality and hit my head on the truth.

No matter how hard we try to ignore it, deny it, eventually the lies fall away. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.

Honestly, i'm fucking afraid. Honestly, i'm fucking tired and i don't wish to carry on with this. Controlled by the heart and not the mind, lets see what i'll do. My reations take place usually immediately, impulsively, given no second thoughts. I might just crumble, fall, crash, exactly what my heart is doing at this point of time.  

I knew it wasn't frickin cuz that sounded wrong. It's fucking! Yay :)

Impossible

 

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear I know,
I know

 

I enjoyed myself today. School was tiring. At least i got to go shopping. Hehehehe. We should all eat our own Tofus so we won't be taken advantage of. Speaking of which, go try Mos burger's 85cents bread. It's delicious for some reason.

It's 1125 now. I wonder what i'm doing up when i have chem spa skill 3 tmr. I was never fond of sleeping early anyway. I've been doing so the past few nights actually. Didn't make much of a difference. Hahahaha actually, the reason why i haven't been updating my blog is cuz i've been writing fanfics.

I actually thought my eunhae fanfics were horrible but there were so many nice comments i just felt obliged to keep writing HEHEHEHEHE. It's fun though! Hahaha i like writing fanfics :) They are fun.

Now, i should try to get some sleep. Oh btw i have this new found liking for Toy Stores now! The BETTER toy store. HAHAHAHAHA :)

Attention

 

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
we got it on lock

 

Are you expecting this? Well wait no longer, you're going to get it.

Firstly, i was debating whether i should spend the whole entire post cursing. Then i realised that hey, that wouldn't do! I'd be wasting time, energy and well i'd be wasting everything there is to waste on someone not worth it.

So i decided i shall just say a few words and let nature takes it's course. Or perhaps i'll suggest another course to nature as i usually do so as to you know, get things done. (It's time someone did something that involves direct face-to-face bitch slapping, yes?)

Let's see, where do i begin. Firstly, let's get things clear. Like, crystal clear. You, brought it upon yourself. Don't you dare come pointing fingers and making up stories about who did this and who did that. I'm not as dumb and i'm certainly not very forgiving, and yes i realised i hold grudges. You can keep living as a senseless two-face or some backstabbing bitch but hey, what do i care! I used to think i hate you but now i don't even want to think about you.

Most people crave attention and some fight for it. No dumbshit stands there and expect to be given attention.

Okay! A paragraph and a line! Well my anger is worth that much i suppose. Today we learnt tea appreciation! DAMN FUN. HEHEHE. The best part was eating the nuts hahaha. Healthcheck was so bloody fast la! The glee song is still stuck in my head :)

Alone

        From childhood's hour I have not been        As others were; I have not seen        As others saw; I could not bring        My passions from a common spring.        From the same source I have not taken        My sorrow; I could not awaken        My heart to joy at the same tone;        And all I loved, I loved alone.        Then- in my childhood, in the dawn        Of a most stormy life- was drawn        From every depth of good and ill        The mystery which binds me still:        From the torrent, or the fountain,        From the red cliff of the mountain,        From the sun that round me rolled        In its autumn tint of gold,        From the lightning in the sky        As it passed me flying by,        From the thunder and the storm,        And the cloud that took the form        (When the rest of Heaven was blue)        Of a demon in my view.

 

I'm quite reluctant to do a normal post because i feel very 'bleh' and i just got my you-know-what today. I'm not complaining though, it delayed itself for 2 months so i'm quite glad about that.

I nursed a headache today on the way back from church. Something hurt more than that. That something had always hurt, i didn't give much thought to it. I shan't anyway. Not worth my time, my energy.

Jerrey is awsm

 

Like lipstick traces on pillowcases
Some things in life are unforgettable
Like love, loss, lies and us
Some things in life are undeniable

 

Hi my friend in the shadows Jerrey, never had a friendster nor facebook and almost didn't have msn until i came in, name sounds like a female, acts like a female but is actually a male. Listens and never refutes, loves me and doesn't expect anything back :) Here's to our mutal friendship, and you and Dez should b tgth forever (though i must warn you that doesn't last long) and thank you for introducing me to L4D even though we met under really........... fked up circumstances. Happy 18th, improve your english, add in proper punctuation and i might actually reply you sometimes. I Love you, dez don't kill me.

School was.......... hmm. My morning was ruined by some fucker, i'm not sorry that the fucker ruined it but i'm sorry i let my morning be ruined by that fucker. The rest of the day was fine, there was no chinese (fuck yeah!) Hehe and lunch was just connect 4 all the way which was damn funny because sha is like, the BEST at connect 4 like whoo! Hehehe.

Kay, one pic from sarah's birthday before i go, and i am only posting this because i am convinced that my eyes look puny-ier than this in the other photos. She, always, looks great so there's no problem in that hehe.

 

 

OH and, KINGS OF CONVENIENCE FTWWWWWW. <3 In the middle of watching 'museeeek bang!' (that's how the mcs pronounce it) i chanced upon kings of convenience while channel surfing, and fell in love with them instantly.

Hehehe this post is rather interesting don't you think! Jerrey, don't kill me if i fall asleep at 10 and don't make it!! :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH *INSERT LOVE*

 

 

I fear I've done some things too late and others too early

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sarah NG I HOPE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU DEEP DOWN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I REALLY DO. AND IF COULD BAKE THOSE CUPCAKES UP THERE I WOULD BAKE THEM FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY :) Thank you for just being in my life, it's more than enough to have you as a friend. I do hope you liked today's evening :) It was fun :) :)

So today, school was nice. It was (shockingly) slack for the first time. After school i went to j8 w sylvia and we borrowed this personality colour book thing and i am green :) Which totally says that when i'm angry, the four letter word comes rolling out of my mouth and a lot of other stuff were true too :) Ate oyster meesua, bought cake and rushed home.

Now the highlight of the day, the very failed birthday suprise :) Hahaha took many pictures and it was funnnnn. Sad though, when we all had to leave. I hope sarah enjoyed it! It's her sixteenth and that doesn't last long :( Only 24 hours :( We sat at her table munching soccer pizzas and b&js, and for a moment i felt 14 again. I realised that over the past few years i have indeed stored up many memories with these lovely people and now we're 16 and almost graduating, it feels kind of.... sad. No more dreaded handbell pracs, lunching at ikea visiting joyce/winnie at the hospital, etcetc.

Then again, there's still shopping and dinners and sakura (free flow sashimi) and ECP cycling and more camwhoring to be done :) I won't let the friendships slip by me so easily!

I realised i haven't caught up with alvina and eunice for a very long time :) Soon soon! <3

Oh, and i love you, sarah, winnie, joyce, Forever and Always.

Eating in the mrt = bad ethic, bad oral topic

 

People change.
And often they become the persons they said they'll never be.

 

Well, today was a total waste of time. They should've just continued lessons instead of making us go for poly talks when most of us are none the least bit interested in going to a poly. However, my mind keeps reminding me that today was a mix of laughter as well, and friends made the day lovely, made school bearable, i felt contented..

And it was enough.

Sometimes in the middle of my lunch, my fork stops midway and i start to feel really horrible, because each second just ticks away like nobody's business and minutes flow by and by the time you know it, everyone is pushing back their chairs and heading towards the exit. Or when everyone doubles up in laughter because of something so hilarious it tickles you all over, you can't stop laughing.. But when that moment passes.......................

It's just sad.

I don't like that feeling. The feeling that makes me feel like everything has been stolen from me in an instant, the feeling which sinks my heart and shuts me up, the sorta kinda 'low' after the 'high', it's just wrong to become the total opposite of whatever that was a moment ago. The anticipation of the goodbyes at the end of anything and everything nice makes me cringe.

I suppose that's life. It's fucking dramatic and it fucks up sometimes but when it's beautiful, it's amazing. Tres awesome. Friends are absolutely amazing, and i wouldn't give any up for the world.

(I'm going to be very singaporean aunty-ish and add in smth totally unsuitable for this kind of life-epiphany posts but, THAT IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULD LEARN TO TREASURE FRIENDS *HINT HINT* BUT IT'S TOO LATE ANYWAY *MORE HINT*)