Pretend that what is known does not exist

 

start over clean and just empty this plate.

sweep up the guilt and learn to survive.

because when it ends, you won't be alive.

would you notice these eyes were closed?

from every direction comes someone's objection.

this is wearing thin, we all just see white.

nothing more beautiful, beautiful than this.

 

Teacher's day was alright. I extremely hated the video and got pretty pissed a bit but nvm. Then.. we went to eat pizza hut and it was actually quite funny :)

Saw Celine (&friends), Bing (&friends), Joanne Le (&friends) at sakae :o

Went home w Deanna and then went jogging which wasn't really jogging cuz it rained and sha had this horrible gash :o Ran to macs, actually not really ran more like walk but i was sheltered :D I didn't know vonz hated coke :o WHO CAN HATE COKE?! Hahahaha.

I am gonna read the athenian murders :) To forget everything and enjoy cheap thrills.

OWL CITY

hilarious

 

:) I think daniel radcliff is quite hottttt.

You've been on my mind for a while now. And honestly, you're quite heavy. Please get off.

 

There comes a point in your life when you're just plain tired.

Tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix things.

It's not giving up.

It's realizing you don't need certain people

and all the bullshit and the baggage they bring along with them.

 

It's official. Almost all of us have onsugars cept bing and sha (whom never had a blog to begin with).

--

I hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget about me, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It's like I don't matter to anyone. And hey, I mean I don't blame you. I'm no-one special. I just thought you were different. I had more faith in you. And you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walked away without ever looking back.

Okay i've decided that screaming and saying fuck a lot doesn't really get my point across. Sometimes silence is the most violent option to choose.

You'd mean so much more if i remembered

 

it isolates the time that's past by. and it feels so long.

i reach for that line i can't hold on.

i can't see what lies beneath the words.

where have i been?

between what rests in my soul and what's given.

It will never weigh the truth

 

I can't seem to tell the difference between real and fake anymore. Mostly it's just something real that might be really fake, and not the other way round. In other words, mostly it's all just grey. Light shades dark shades. Everyone around me is grey.

I feel numb. I chose to feel numb. With so much shit going around me right now, i feel used and angry. But what's the point? I'd rather feel numb then to feel used. Feeling used is the worse feeling you can ever feel. Numb. Numbing is better, by a far mile.

I'll be in your head

• Bel: aHAHA, listen to it twice and i'll be in your head.
• Deanna: i'll or it'll... i'd prefer that the song be in my head than you :D

Fireflies

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns, slowly
It's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird cause i hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

--

I LOVE THIS SONG

Angst

 

‘Cats don’t have names,’ it said.

‘No?’ said Coraline.

‘No,’ said the cat. ‘Now you people have names.

That’s because you don’t know who you are.

We know who we are, so we don’t need names.'

 

Either karma is being a bitch or I'm an angsty little one.

Vonz sent me that photo ^ :) It's nice! She apparently has a whole collection of it :o i think it's really cool.

Okay bio sucks. I do not give a shit about biomedical science.

Don't tug my heart

 

Often we allow ourselves to be upset by

small things we should despise and forget.

We lose many irreplaceable hours

brooding over grievances that,

in a year's time,

will be forgotten by us and by everybody.

 

Chinese oral = me speaking tamil. Almost failed a math and got hurt during PE.

Cell on Sunday was so related to what i'm facing now. Yet i can't. apply. a. single. thing. I end church with 75% of the fullness of joy in God in my heart. It drops a bit to 70% on sunday night and by the end of Monday, it dipped to 20%.

It's Wednesday now.

Besides, i'm not going ramble about like trying to improve myself and being more tolerating and nice and whatever. It's just words. They don't mean a single thing. But getting back on my feet is going to be so tough, i think i've given up already.

So don't go around clarifying yourself. There's nothing really, for you to clarify.

 

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me

unfold to determine the course of my life.

I’m going to take a stand.

I’m going to defend it.

Right or wrong,

I’m going to defend it.

 

Now i've gone so far as to conclude that actually, even though what that person did was bad, it was nothing compared to what you did. It was yours that was vicious. Standing up for something you know is wrong is far worse than comitting the wrong thing itself.

--

Chinese oral >: (

I have chinese oral tomorrow :o