The rendezvous

I have nothing to bring forward from the past. I can only hope and wish i'd make new friends, so that when now becomes the past, i'd have people to rely on, i'd finally have people to rely on.

Just because you like someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a band-aid to cover all wounds, never pretend to a love you do not actually feel, oh- how can i, how could i?

I'm exhausted. I've been easily worn out for the past weeks and i wonder why. Maybe life is weighing me down. Maybe trying to balance everything and making everything perfect for me is tiring. Maybe, i tried too hard to set myself free.

I wish the week would just pass. There's tests almost every single day and hb is not making things better, not at all.

I come home, drop my bag, sit on my chair and stare. Stare at the wall that used to be covered with my scribbles and pictures and post-it(s) to help me remember all my usernames and passwords. I wonder why i took everything down and repainted it again. I wonder why i had that sudden inspiration to clear everything that forgot me- so that i could forget them too?

Hate to break it to myself but i haven't forgotten a single thing. Life sucks so hard sometimes i just feel that i've got no more strength left in me to carry on.

Maybe this is why i love sleeping so much. Maybe sleeping is my catharsis. It's funny how i used to hate afternoon naps like hell and now, i constantly crave for more sleep. I probably will never understand myself then i think i do.

This is so cliche but hell, life sucks.