Stay close to me

You feel alive,
Do you feel alive?

--


CT's are coming. SYF is coming. SOP is coming. I wonder what isn't coming actually.
(Forgive me if i'm incoherent in this post, i've got through weird things today)

So today, I realised i haven't blogged much about my days. Actually i don't blog at all about my days. I used to. Haha. Okay let's see. Actually the only thing i can remember about today is that i had handbells. I'm having handbells everyday.

yknow sometimes i feel like slaping myself, seriously. I feel so stupid now : and imbellic. I've made so many wrong choices, i don't want to go down that path again. It's called backsliding and no, i don't want to backslide any further then i already have.

It does feel good to know that God will ALWAYS help you. It feels fantastic. Like you have a Saviour. Though sometimes i let myself slip into the other side of the picture (without God), but i will always try to find a way to get myself out of that shit hole (it's instinct LOL) and then *poof* i am given back my sight to see God right infront/next to me.

I miss many people in life actually. I miss Benj (I KNOW YOU MISS ME, COME BACK PLEASE?), dayna (come back from america!), HAZEL, (come back from...... oh- where ever you are, seriously) Sometimes i miss the past, sometimes i miss how i was, how i used to be.

But given a choice, i would travel to the future instead of the past. I wonder why. If only i could skip this whole stage of my life. Growing up and all that shit. Studying and getting scolded, playing around and getting burnt, loving and getting no reciprocation, holding back and realising you shouldn't have held back in the v.first place cuz life's just like that, it's short and you do what you do to get the best crap out of what it can actually, actually give you.

Haha I declare i am morbid. Heehee(!)




You'll go off, you'll forget,
You'll grow out of hanging from the edges,
Breaking off the past.

You'll know when to move up
You'll know when to take all the right chances,
Never looking back