Today was exhausting f-exhausting. In fact i've actually learned how to deal with my rapidly changing emotions and i know how to hold back tears now. I also know how to lie to myself and keep a straight face while battling a raging war inside me. I've learnt that I'm extremely stupid and probably will grow up to be nothing.
Oh and i finally figured that the best way to hold my tears in is to picture my heart in my mind and start enclosing it with steel metal walls. Unbreakable walls- at least for 2 whole minutes.
You know what. I don't even know why i held them back. I now really extremely hate myself for being so materialistic and i hate myself for every wrong thing i've ever chosen to do.
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I've changed my mind. Today sucked.
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